Sexy first moves that are guaranteed to get his attention.
- Amber Madison, BettyConfidential.comWhen it comes to hitting on women, most guys consider themselves skilled professionals. As a result, most of us are used to sitting back and waiting for whatever guy is brave enough to come over and try his luck. The only problem with this scenario is that you're allowing someone else to decide who you do and don't potentially connect with. Well, ladies, it's time to take matters into your own hands for a change. See a tall dark stranger on the opposite side of the room you think you might like to talk to? What have you got to lose? The best thing about hitting on a stranger is that if you mess up, you never have to see him again. The worst thing about hitting on a stranger is that if you mess up, you never get to see him again. Here's how to make the first move and get the reaction you're looking for.
Approach alone. If you're going to hit on a guy, you have to be willing to do it alone. This isn't a "me and my friends are going to go to the bathroom together" type of occasion. If you bring friends along, a guy will get confused about who wants him: Is it you, or the girl standing next to you? Making the initial approach alone also shows confidence and independence, which any guy will tell you are the two hottest accessories any girl can show off.
Buy him a drink. If you're at a bar, ask him what he's drinking, and then order him one. Guys buy girls drink all the time, so they welcome the chance to be treated for once. Plus, it shows you're not another "typical girl" who just expects the guy to pay all the time.
Insult him. This is a trick that guys use when they try to make a pass at girls who are out of their league. Surprise, surprise: It works on guys too! Don't say anything too mean, but feel free to tease him about something he's wearing, drinking, buying or saying. Just make sure to give him a wink and/or a flirty smile as you're doing it to let him know you're only having fun.
Ask him a question. Yes, this one is basic, but it works. You can strike up a conversation with a guy anywhere just by asking him a question. If you're in a gym, ask him how to use a piece of equipment. If you're on a subway, ask him what he's reading or how he likes his iPhone. If you're in line at a supermarket ask him what exactly he plans to cook with the peanut butter and hot dogs in his basket.
Touch him. A sure way to show a guy you're into him is to find ways to touch him as the two of you are talking. Lean in and grab his arm, playfully smack his stomach or put your hand on his back if you have to scoot behind him. Try letting your hand linger for a second or two longer than necessary, just long enough to really get his attention.
Walk away. Once you've made your initial attack it's important to retreat back to your bunker. You've boosted his confidence by hitting on him, but you also have to let him know he's going to have to work for it-you're not just going to follow him around all night. By hitting on him, you've given him the green light. If he wants you, he'll come find you later.
Say anything. The truth is, most guys are so relieved that a girl is taking the initiative that they don't care what you say. If you approach them, they don't have to approach you, and for that, they're generally very grateful. So while flirty lines and witty conversation starters will give you bonus points, if all you can think to say is, "I've met you before. William, right?" it probably won't make much difference. (Even if his name is Steve.)
So to recap, here's the perfect pick-up scenario: You spot a hottie across the bar. You leave your friends, walk up to him and ask what he's drinking. He tells you "Tanqueray and tonic." You say: "Oh, feeling fancy tonight huh?" With a flirty smile on your face, you tell the bartender: "Tanqueray and tonic for the lady, and I'll have a Guinness." You hand Mr. Hottie his drink and proceed to make conversation about what he does, where he's from, Tanqueray vs. Beefeater, and throughout the conversation subtly touch him on the arm, the leg, the chest or wherever you can without being creepy. After ten minutes you walk away. Then, roughly 30 minutes later he'll come find you and give you his number.
The good news? Even if you walk up to him, lose your nerve, and just say: "Hi," chances are, you'll get his digits anyway.
BettyConfidential's Sexpert Amber Madison is a sex educator and author of Hooking Up: A Girl's All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality, and Talking Sex With Your Kids, to be released this March.To read more from BettyConfidential: