How to Improve Your Confidence and Your Sex Life

Sex is like a company's social media strategy: it looks easy to do, but there are a lot of facets to maintain and to keep the gears rolling. We sat down with Dame Lori, a pleasure expert, to learn about boosting your confidence in the bedroom and getting you and your partner back on the intimacy track.

Q: I have a hard time enjoying sex because I'm so worried about what my body looks like. What can I do to feel less self-conscious?
A: For starters, silence the all-too-familiar "I hate my body" soundtrack that's playing in your head. Instead, figure out what makes you feel desirable despite the cellulite (that only you can see) on your thighs. The answer lies in switching your attention from your so-called flaws to your pleasure portals. My number one antidote is to tap into your "turn on" and get to self-pleasuring. Start with a full-length mirror to view your body, crank up some hot dance music, and tell your reflection what a total hottie she is (seriously, do it!). A self-pleasuring session is even better when you get a little wild and embellish with props. For instance, I love my black embroidered floor-length silk kimono worn open. Or try applying a sensual fragrance or wearing a pair of sexy stilettos. Once you discover a few things that make you feel irresistible no matter what shape your body is in, your self-confidence will be a surefire turn-on for your guy. Because let's be honest: There's nothing hotter to a man than a woman who loves her body.

Q: My boyfriend and I are totally out of sync when it comes to sex. What can we do to balance out our libidos?
A: First, take some down to figure out what your desires are around your boyfriend and sex. This is an opportunity to think, and write about what you feel and what would turn you on. By you communicating more about what will get you hot, then you two will become more aligned in your arousal patterns.
If your man is at his horniest at a certain time of day or night, you can tap into those erotic fantasies to get in sync with him. For example: if he's usually in the mood at night, ask him to draw you a bath with milk, honey, and rose petals and followed by a foot massage with your favorite lotion. This should leave you aroused and ready to go.

Dame Lori is a pleasure expert who has worked with thousands of men and women, teaching them to express themselves with sex and seduction. For more info and great advice, check out Dame Lori's blog, The Dame Game.

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