If you're reading this article, then hopefully you've had a period of no-contact with your ex for at least a month (if not then you should read up on 'no-contact' and do that first). You should have your emotions under control and gotten rid of any desperate feelings. You should also feel confident and secure, and have spent sufficient time improving your self esteem as well as your physical appearance (doesn't have to be a huge change, maybe just a new haircut or new clothes, but some kind of update).
If you have done all the above and feel you're ready to see your ex without having some sort of breakdown, then it's time to take action!
Go ahead and give your ex a phone call, keeping these guidelines in mind:
1. Call at a time when you think your ex will have a few minutes to talk privately.
2. Make sure you have a cheerful demeanor, and convey that through your voice tone.
3. Keep the conversation short; about 10-15 minutes is perfect.
So what do you talk about? You can start out by asking how they're doing, and also mention anything productive you've been up to during your time apart. A great idea is to bring up a fun memory the two of you had together, as long as it's lighthearted and not too serious. In general, you want to keep the tone casual, like you're just calling up an old friend to catch up. You definitely do not want to bring up your relationship or any of the problems you had. Also do not, I repeat, do not ask them if they've been seeing anybody!
The purpose of this call is to make contact, so you're going to ask them out. Like the rest of the call, you want to make this request as casual sounding as possible. You can suggest getting together for lunch, or maybe even a quick shopping trip. Avoid anything too time consuming or serious, so dinner, movies, or trips to the zoo are off limits.
Now if your conversation was lighthearted and casual, and your date suggestion didn't involve anything too intimidating, they will most likely say yes. Of course there's the possibility that they will decline your request, but you absolutely must not make a big deal out of it. If they say no, don't whine, beg, or otherwise lose your composure. Simply say "no problem, maybe another time". Your mature attitude will make a good impression on them, and it's very likely that they will be receptive to meeting later on.
Whether or not they agree to the date, consider it a success if you had a friendly conversation. Remember, this is just a first step, so whatever happens, always keep your attitude positive and continue to have a friendly demeanor toward your ex. Show your ex indirectly that you're worth giving a second chance, and 9 times out of 10 they will come around. Read More >>>