How Women Screw Up Relationships

Well, What if the guy says she's hot/beautiful but she's too hot/beautiful to be with and the guy says he need some one no other man will want and he says tha you are perfect for him. whats that about? is he calling you ugly? most likely.

Question... Will any Women admit to messing up the relationship or is this article another reason for her to be angry?

i think if a woman gives 100% to a man ,he should do the same. Being real to your lover and not lying is whats up. Trust and communication,and respect for your mate is the key to a long and happy relationship. cheating on your woman doesn't make you a man. a real man has controll of hiself when it comes to temptation.If you must sex every woman you see ,only makes you look like a fool and a trick cause you got to pay one way or the other.

Wow, I agree with fools_and_ sages. There are too many stereotypes in this world that cause all this confusion. All women are not alike and all men are not alike. Both can sabotage a relationship for whatever reasons.

Fools_and_sages and Denise G., thank you for writing well thought out rebuttals to this terribly written blog. Fools_and_sages, you summed it up perfectly when you called it "psycho babble." This blog is so badly written and so full of nothing that I had to keep re-reading it to figure out if the author actually said anything at all.

Perpetuating the idea that women, as a gender, "fail" at relationships BECAUSE of their gender is false and harmful to society as a whole. A person's make up depends on the totality of their biology, knowledge, and life experience. It isn't limited only to their gender. So long as people, whether they are male or female, believe they are too limited to understand others based on their gender, we will never be able to accept each other as our equals.

There are many problems with this blog. The author begins by telling us that her journey of self-discovery is relevant to all our lives. It isn't. She contradicts herself by saying that "we all want to be loved" while discussing how some men really don't want to be. (What she fails to understand is that some PEOPLE just don't want to be.) The entirety of the blog discusses how the author mistakenly believes that men and women are "worlds" apart from each other, continuously referencing that ridiculous work, "Mars and Venus [yadda yadda]". There's something about "authenticity" that we're just supposed to understand, but isn't defined.

In paragraph two, the author says that women treat men like they're women. Really, she's just generalizing. Apparently, she's read that stupid Mars and Venus book one too many times and thinks it has the answer. It doesn't. She's just guessing at what people do, at what women think other women are like, at how people behave in general. This is all about gender stereotyping. She implies that men's emotions are not complex; that their feelings about themselves are not complex. This just isn't true.

The whole "Angelina Jolie" paragraph just made my head hurt. And if I were asked this question in real life, that is exactly how I would answer the question: "You give me a headache." I call PEOPLE out for their attention seeking b.s.

The next paragraph gets on my nerves as well. Let's get this straight: Mars is the god of war, not sex. Many PEOPLE mistakenly equate sex with love. More of those people tend to be women, but certainly not all of them. As to what woman would neglect a birthday wish?! Are you kidding with that? It sounds like she's saying men should just get sex because it's their birthday. I don't know if that's what she meant or not, but she really should explain herself.

In the end, we're all from EARTH. Just earth. That's all. Men are just as responsible for relationships not working as women.

The biggest mistake is cummunication. There is no reason to have to pick a fight just to find a little 'me' time. And there is no reason to confuse a request for space for a denial of affection...Guess that's all I have to say..N.W.

I think a man can try to be nice sometimes and not lie at the same time.
if my boyfriend saw me staring at somebody and saying:"OH, MAMA!" he'll feel uncomfortable too!
a lot of times we screw it up, but we don't deserve cruelty in response from men...thanks for this oppertunity to share you my point of view..

Peace And Blessings. Thanks For This Post. We Must Overstand How The Media Play An Important Part In Our Subconscious Attitude Toward The Other Gender. Although I Don't Watch TV Much Anymore, I Know From Past Experieences How This Is True. The Music Media Is Always Portraying Women As Sex Toys. The TV Always Portray Men As Lazy, Mundain, Messy, et cetera And We Accept It And In Most Cases Adopt It. And It Causes Division Amongst Us. As A Black Man, I HATE The Rap That's Out Now-A-Days. HATE! Extreamly! My Nubian Goddesses As Well As Europeans, And Latinos, But Especially The Nubian Goddess, Are Potrayed In Such A Sexual Manor, That The World Sees Them As Such. They Also Portray Them As Bitchy. They Portray The Nubian King As If They Are All Thugs, Pimps, Drug Dealers, Womanizers And Abusers, Et Cetera. But For The Most Part It's Our Fault Because We (Blacks) Allow Them To. And For What? MONEY?! That Ish That You See On BET And MTV About Us Is An Illusion For The Most Part. Where Are All The Positive Aspects Of The Black Man And Woman? There Are. And Then When Some One Like Me, Who Is Concerned, Speaks Out About It, We Get Labled As A Black Extreamist, Or Something Of The Sort. I'M TIRED OF THAT ISH! I Did Not Mean To Get Off. I'm Just Explaining It From My (A Black) Prespective.

Psychobabble New Age overgeneralizing crap is what this is. . .and I'm a woman.

If you're going to get upset because he thinks Angelina Joile is hot (and probably hotter than you), you're an immature narcissist who needs to be the center of attention all the time and NOBODY (male or female) wants to deal with that. Honestly, how many women are as hot or hotter than Angelina Jolie? If you're so insecure that you can't even let him look at another woman ,let him have his fantasies, or even let him go to the bachelor party at the strip club, you're over sensitive and just plain stupid and petty. And, honestly, men don't like high maintenance women. In fact most REAL WOMEN don't like high maintenance women. Drama queens flock together so the real women don't beat them to a pulp.

And the idea that women are the ones who screw up a relationship is ridiculous. Men and women are equally likely to screw up a relationship. Men can be as demanding and petty as women. He might pick on because you need to lose a few pounds or he might tell you flat out that that muumuu you're wearing isn't attractive (and he's just being honest and you know it. . on both counts). He might find an excuse to avoid hanging out with your friends because he doesn't like them and the reason he doesn't like them is something petty like "They talk too much" or "Their boyfriends/husbands are jerks." or he might not want to spend time your friends because he wants time alone with you.

Women can be as insensitive and daft as men sometimes as well. If he doesn't hang on every word you say, you call him insensitive and not a good listener. Do you think he doesn't realize you're not really listening to him when he sees that glassy-eyed smile-and-nod thing you do when he talks about his car restoration project? Do you think it doesn't bother him when you patronizingly treat him like a child with a toy when he's enthusiastic about something you don't care about?

My point is that the Mars/Venus thing just isn't true. It's totally stereotypical and only reinforces the gender stereotypes many people are raised with-- that women are supposed to be sensitive, fashionistas, who gossip and worry about petty things while men are supposed to be strong, insensitive cavemen.

Kamau I think that what you wrote is totally true but I have to say that I'm a white female. I hate that the media makes women out to be sex symbols. We women should mean much more than that.

Wow I think Kamau was the only one with the right idea. Were the rest of you even reading the same article? It says that NOTHING is clearly divided and that Mars/Venus is true in VARYING degrees. The article is mostly saying that men and women have different perspectives and to not jump to conclusions. You cant measure someones motives by your own standards. It seems like some of you took offense at the title of the article and got defensive. Others are probably just homo (denise g)

I think both men and women have the ability to ruin a relationship. In my opinion, their has to be mutual respect and honesty as well as both parties sharing responsibilities, acts of kindness toward one another, etc. It takes TWO to make a relationship work, not just one.

Here's what I'm wondering. Do men read all these dating advice articles as much as we women do? The last time I picked up a men's magazine, there were articles about hot women and loads of pictures of half-naked women. There was nothing in there about communication or feelings or any psycho babble like that. But then, like, every single women's magazine I read has at least one article (usually more!) about fixing what's wrong with our dating lives. Coincidence? I think not. It seems like men just aren't as neurotic about this stuff as we are. Maybe they don't have to be, because as unfair as it might seem, they don't have a biological clock or societal pressures in the same way that women do.

ok so I posted prematurely. ladybella07 and falling spider are right on.
And savannah7 are you sure you're not a narcissist? Wondering how brunettes get a date. Seriously? What a stupid blonde thing to say. I wonder how someone as pompous and pretentious as you gets a man.

Don't ask questions if you don't want an honest answer. Nothing wrong with a guy thinking AJ is hot. What's wrong is asking him and expecting he will play some ego stroking game with you. So what...she's in a magazine; he's with you.

Sounds like just another article reinforcing the fact that women should "bow" down to men just because " that's the way they are". I think it is "crap" that men can say and do what they wish and women are just supposed to accept it because they are MEN. I am so tired of hearing and reading such nonsense. BOTH genders have the ability to be sensitive and in control. It is a matter of respecting the one you are with and not making them feel as though they are not living up to your expectations. What is good for one should be good for both....but unfortunetly, men do not see it that way. Our culture breeds ideas that women are the "weaker" sex therefore embedding this in young women's minds. I think this article is very demeaning towards women, and the most upsetting part is that it is clearly written by a women which makes it even more sad! Women and men are different, just as all men are not alike, and all women are not alike. Get a grip on life and relationships.......it is NOT okay for men to do or say as they wish and women to just accept it and "make sure they don't rock the boat in their relationship" or stand to loose it! And it is NOT okay for some women to do the same with men. If men are that insensitive as described in this article, and if men are "going to be men" when it comes to their comments and/or attitudes and actions towards women......who in their right mind would even want a relationship with a man???? Why should it always be the woman's task to "change" how she feels and thinks just to please her man? If a women has to change to make it work.....then men need to give some effort as well!

Ok, being neither insecure nor narcissistic, I would submit that Angelina Jolie is not the epitome of human beauty. Since when do over-exaggerated facial features and masculine bone structure equal beauty? Show me your Scarlett Johannsens, and your Charlize Therons, and you might evoke some insecurity. Just a thought.

(Then again, I'm still not convinced how brunettes get dates anyway)

Ounce I new someone that was unemployed for seven years due to some promise he made in his religion....he needed to give up something he really like...like a sacrifice or something!

I´ve come to realize that women will ruin a relationship in three ways;
A. They forget themselves, and more importantly how the relationship started.
B. They´ll make things complicated when the relationship doesn´t have to be.
C. They´ll say things that should never be said. Honesty is and always will be the golden-rule, yet no man ever wants to be told about a threeway you had when you were younger.

so what your saying is women shouldn't expect our emotional needs to be met because men think differently? to keep our man we should be into sex for sex only and not expect them to care enough to get us a gift for our birthday. most men don't like weak women who will be their own personal doormats either.of course they see things differently then we do but you do not accept or allow them to be inconsiderate of your feelings.granted you don't scream,hollar,or nag but you as a woman have a right to have your needs met as well.if your man loves you he wouldn't to hurt you.