I'm a single woman, no children. Been that way all my life. Over the years I've gotten lots of questions from curious people as to why this is so. I'm not a troll (so I'm told), and I have a reasonably pleasant personality, so lots of people don't understand how this could be. That I'm okay (actually, happy) about this is really befuddling to more than just a few people. So, a little over a year ago, I started a blog, The Spinsterlicious Life, my musings about the realities and joys of being single and child-free.
So the good news is that The Spinsterlicious Life is starting to pop. In the last couple of months I've received lots of publicity, from a two-page spread in Woman's Day magazine to a feature in the Lifestyle section on MSN.com to an interview on KABC Talk Radio, and I've been picked up by lots of online sites. It's been fantastic. MSN.COM LINK HERE: http://glo.msn.com/relationships/shed-the-shoulds-1534481.story
The less-than-good news is that with more publicity has come a weakening of my safe place. When I was writing just for my own blog and this site, I had interesting and reasoned dialogues with my readers. We were agreeable, even when we disagreed. I thought, "This blogging thing is nice. What a great way to hear and learn from other smart people!"
But as my exposure has broadened, it has brought out what I lovingly call the Crazies. It's probably not nice for me to call people crazy, though I do think a few of them might be. Others are just rude. I am fascinated by that. What is it that makes them want to speak so impolitely to someone they don't know, someone who has done nothing to them?
Part of me thinks it's the new louder, in-your-face, "I'll-take-you-down" culture so expertly supported by reality TV. You're nobody unless you're putting someone down, telling someone off, putting them in their place. But here's another, more provocative, thought: They are uncomfortable that I've stepped out of my "place" with my Spinsterlicious "you can be single and happy" message. Upsetting the status quo makes some people nervous . . . possibly even makes them question their own choices, and so they feel as if I'm stirring up trouble. So in order to keep me down, keep me quiet, keep me in my place, they need to paint me as "other." Surprisingly, the hecklers appear to include nearly as many women as men.
I'm called "selfish" and "cat lady" (I have no cats) so often that I've grown bored with those. I want to respond by asking for something more original.
Here, in italics, are some of the responses Spinsterlicious has attracted, reproduced exactly as written.
"Sounds like you don't want to hear the truth. You are selfish, period."
"Some chick with 14 cats wrote this article."
A lot of them think I'm angry, delusional, and feel sorry for my sad life. Read more: