By Davina Dummer, BounceBack.com Editorial Staff
Deciding if a relationship is over is extremely hard for all parties involved. Sometimes, it can be even harder than the aftermath of a breakup, because it leaves both parties in a sort of limbo state. At least once you have broken up, the decision has been made and dealing with the decision can begin. So, how do you know if you should try and save your relationship, or if sadly, it is time to finally end it?
1. If you are already thinking of ending it, that should say something to you. Sure, everyone has fights or disagreements, however, it's when you start thinking "maybe I should leave," or "maybe we should just end it" that you already know something has shifted.
2. The last time you were happy was a month ago. Happiness is key to the future of your relationship and to your future as an individual. If you aren't happy anymore, then it's time to let go. More importantly, you cannot pin your happiness to another person; it has to come from you. Everyone deserves to be happy, so if you spend more time dwelling on times when you were happy or thinking of how you could be happy than actually feeling happy, it's time for something to change.
3. Your eye or mind has started wandering. Of course everyone takes notice of attractive people, or has a little flirt - that's just natural. However, when you start really taking notice of other people, or you start to think about them on a more consistent basis, it might be a way of mentally escaping your present situation. The key is that if this becomes stronger, always make sure you end your current relationship before you ever start anything with someone else.
4. You both have different future goals. Some relationships don't end because the love is gone. Sometimes, it's as simple as different future goals. Whether this is to do with wanting to start a family, or work goals or where to live, this can be very common in relationships. They key is to stay true to yourself. As much as you love someone, you have to do what is right for you. Just because it might mean the end of your romantic relationship does not mean it has to be the end of the relationship, full-stop. It is better to be realistic about this than one of you try and bend your future wants to someone else.
5. You seem more like friends than partners. This can be hard to identify, but sometimes, your relationship just changes over time. If you become better friends than partners, then don't be afraid to just be friends.
6. The relationship becomes one-sided. Relationships are about equality and no matter how nice it might be to give and feel needed, or to receive and be looked after, a relationship should be about balance. Each partner should give and receive as each person in the relationship has needs. If it becomes one-sided, resentment builds and can lead to problems.
When we have invested in something, especially someone, it is hard to know when to let go. The truth is that relationships are hard, but they should always be full of love, respect, care, support and happiness. If you are no longer happy, it is best to really look at the different factors in your life and see if you can identify the reasons. Remember, just because you do not work as a couple does not mean you have to lose that person from your life. You can still save the relationship, but sometimes what you need to save is a friendship.
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