It's Been A Long Time

So, where have I been busy. Working on my business and to everyone who owns or wants to own their own busy the sacrifice is great yet, working for yourself is soooooo rewarding. So there was this guy that I absolutly cared about and he left and before he left we had a conversation about.....of course a relationship and where are we going. He tells me that I don't know what the future holds. Honestly, none of us do yet, you do know if you want a future with an indiviual or not. So of course I cried because I have known this person for years. He comes back and guess what, he is dating. Isn't that amazing...now he has taken a chance on someone and he would not do that with me. Does that hurt, like hell it does rather it did. So, we have spoken about it and guess what he tells me that the woman he is dating stated that if he would have ended up with me that she would not have had a chance to be with him. Wow, and I hear a hand clap from me.........lol. Right, so you date and tell the person about me and obviously something nice. Therefore, I must admit I do know that I am at least not crazy. My reasoning if I did not mean anything to you than why would you tell someone about me.

So, I have met this guy and let me tell you he is great. When I say I feel as though he has everything that I want, desire, and etc. Except we bump heads on the inevitable issue of sex. To do it, or not to do it that is the question...........right so my answer is no. True I have done it and I do have a son. I will admit I think about it often yet, I have grown so much with my relationship with God that I can not go back. I know there are some people who understand where I am coming from. Yet, the reality is that because it is soooooo important to him that I am unable to fulfill that part I will lose rather there is chance that I will not be able to be or have a relationship. What sucks is that I opened myself up and look what happen. When I say we view relationships the same way I am serious and the fact that I could see him being a good/ great role model for my son. That is important to me. As I watch my friends get married thy have the time to watch their men grown and understand what it takes to be the head of a household and I have to be with someone that knows and understands what is expected to be the head of a household. He gets it and that is rare. He is a breath of fresh air and I care about him enough to let him go and be fulfilled and if it is meant to be then it will be. What I know for sure is that I am peace with my decision.