My husband's brother called him five months ago and said that he couldn't handle his job anymore. So my husband, great man that he is, invited his brother to live and work with us in our business (with my blessing). Well, ever since his brother moved here, my husband has put me on the back burner. They work together every day, then at night, every time I try to have a conversation with my husband, my brother-in-law butts in. So I just go to bed alone. I've tried to talk to my husband about it, and he says, "I don't want my brother to feel left out!" I feel like the one being left out. What to do?
- P.C., 46, Northome, MN
Related: How to Handle a Mompetitor
It's time for the guy to find his own place. You can't keep supporting all their guy time without it eventually taking a toll on the marriage. (Going to bed alone for too long is never a good thing!)
Related: Body Secrets! Baby Plans! The Kardashians Talk
Talk to your husband about when you can sit down as a couple with his brother and figure out how to help him get back on his feet. Stress how much you love and miss your time with your husband. Let him know that you truly don't want his brother to feel left out either - but that his brother isn't part of your marriage. The advantage of talking to your brother-in-law after you and your husband are on the same page is twofold: First, everyone is in on the discussion (your husband won't have to confront his brother, then report back to you), and second, you'll be able to directly express your concern for your brother-in-law's well-being, which will alleviate any guilt you may feel over reclaiming your home - and the privacy you and your marriage deserve.
Related: The 18 Most Annoying Male Habits Explained
Karen Karbo is an award-winning writer and author of The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons from the World's Most Elegant Woman. She's also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Check out more advice from Karen.
Need smart advice?
Whatever's bugging or perplexing you - about your friends, brother, sister, parents, in-laws, husband, you name it - REDBOOK's Karen Karbo has the smart advice you need. Email your questions, rants, and worries to her at firstname.lastname@example.org and please include your initials, age, city and state. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.
More from REDBOOK:
Could You Go a Week Without Yelling?
Have the Hottest Sex of Your Life…with Your Husband
- 6 Shocking Reasons Why Men Stray
- 6 Ways to Tie a Scarf
- Get More on Love, Family & Fashion - Subscribe to REDBOOK & Save Up to 84%!
Connect with REDBOOK:
- Become our Fan on Facebook
- Sign Up for REDBOOK's Free Weekly Newsletter
- Follow Us on Twitter
- Enter to Win FREE Daily Prizes
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.