CosmopolitanWe hear it time and time again: my boyfriend's best friend is a girl. Should you feel threatened or thankful? Dating and relationship coach Tracey Steinberg told us something we're sticking by: if it's genuine, it's actually really, really good that your man has a BFF with boobs. Here's how to deal with it, and when you have a reason to suspect their doing more than playing video games together.
By Ariel Nagi
Having a boyfriend whose BFF is another woman can feel a little weird if you're not used to it. Some men turn to women because we are naturally better communicators and make great friends. But how do you deal with her, and more importantly, know for sure that they aren't into each other or that she's out to sabotage your relationship? Try the first three things, and if you still feel unsure, learn how you can address the situation without ruining your relationship.
Related: How Do I Get My Boyfriend to be More Romantic?
Make her your ally
The best thing to do is to get to know her, and more importantly, get her to love you. "Chances are when he needs advice he goes to her," Steinberg says. "Men are in many ways very clueless, so if he has a woman who is smart and on your team, that's great." Introduce yourself to her, and let her know you'd love to go out for brunch or coffee together sometime.
Don't act jealous of her just because she's a woman. This will only end up ruining your relationship. "He chose you, not her so believe it," Steinberg says.
You should know the reason lots of men have women as best friends. Women are not only there to pursue romantic relationships with. "Women make great best friends," Steinberg says. "There are a lot of things men can share with women that they can't share with men, and this makes them better because they understand women better."
Trust your instincts
If you're not buying it, trust your instincts. If you're generally not the jealous type but this friendship bothers you, then you should investigate further. "If he is keeping her from you, if he flirts with her more than you when you are hanging out, if he's not affectionate because of her, then you should be suspicious," Steinberg says.
Related: What Would You Do To Stop Your Boyfriend From Cheating?
But if you're feeling uncomfortable, ask questions before you make assumptions. You should know whether there's any romantic history between them, if they look at each other more like siblings, if they ever dated, or did they ever have feelings for each other? Make sure you list the facts when you tell him you suspect something. For example, "You never bring me around her, why is that?" or "It seems like she's always talking bad about me, is she jealous of our relationship?
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