Ethan Imboden, founder of Jimmyjane.com, gives BettyConfidential the inside scoop!
-The Betty Editors, BettyConfidential.com
Ethan Imboden is the Founder, Chairman and Chief Creative Officer of Jimmyjane - "where naughty is nice, sexy is smart, and the pleasure's in the details." The super chic, super sexy online boutique carries everything from diamond encrusted vibrators to romantic massage candles - their motto is "life is better with a sexy twist." Who better to give us the low-down on all those mysteries about what men REALLY think about women and the big S-E-X?
We've also got a whole bunch of sexy Jimmyjane goodies right now in BettyConfidential Shop, so be sure to check out our exclusive sale!
BettyConfidential: What do men really find sexy in a woman - and don't say "a great personality!"
Ethan Imboden: Self-confidence is sexy, particularly as it impacts so many facets of how we come across - from our posture, to the way we speak, to the way we touch.
BC: What is the biggest turn-on for most men?
EI: It's a big turn-on to a man to feel that he's connected with a genuine, uncensored desire within a woman. We all tend to edit ourselves down to what we feel safe in sharing with each other, and unfortunately we often filter out the rough edges and eccentricities that give our interactions energy and (positive) tension. Edit less, and include him in your pleasure - it's more important to him than perhaps either of you realize.
BC: What's a real turn-off?
EI: Faking it or just "going through the motions." It's more obvious than you think, and though it may be well intentioned, it's disingenuous.
BC: How do you know when a guy is really into you?
EI: You'll know that he's into you when he becomes actively engaged in your life, and invites you into his own. Introducing you to his friends (and later his family) is as significant to him as it is to you. Planning events and outings weeks or months in advance is also a good sign.
BC: What's your advice for a woman who wants to spice up her sex life with her partner?
EI: Take the reins. It's just as intimidating to him to propose something new as it is to you, so if you wait for him to change things up, you may be waiting for a long time. Use a special occasion - Valentine's Day, a trip together, a birthday, the third Wednesday of the month (anything will do) - as an excuse for a new approach. Playing a game can also help to shake things loose - let the game make suggestions you might be self-conscious making yourselves. Alternatively, using massage to ease into a new connection with your partner can be a very comfortable approach. Our AFTERGLOW Massage Candles are a very popular place to start.
BC: What's the deal with foreplay - how can a woman make this more fun for her guy?
EI: Since conventional wisdom is that women desire foreplay more than men, most think of foreplay as being focused on her. If you'd like more foreplay, lead by example, incorporating more in your approach to your guy. Think more broadly and creatively about foreplay - don't start when you turn off the lights, and don't relegate it to the bedroom. Start with a text message in the middle of his day. Continue with a surprise under the table during dinner. Follow up with dessert in the kitchen, and finish before breakfast in the morning. Be creative, and you might be surprised by the response you get.
BC: What advice would you give to a couple who hasn't tried sex toys in the past but is interested in experimenting?
EI: Start with a vibrator or other accessory that is aesthetically pleasing, unintimidating (read: Smaller than he is), and non-distracting (quiet) so that it's a welcome addition to the experience, rather than an intrusion. Our ICONIC POCKET vibrator is a great starting point for many. Incorporate your new friend into one of your more typical sexual patterns so that it's a flourish, not the focal point. Alternate who's holding the vibrator so that it's an inclusive experience for both of you, and actively guide his hands rather than trying to communicate everything verbally. This will be easier for both of you, and is a great way for him to learn what you like.
BC: What is one thing you wish all women knew?
EI: Know thyself. The more you know about what you enjoy, the easier it is to enjoy yourself with another.
BC: What do single guys wish their girlfriends knew?
EI: How cool they are when no one's looking.
BC: What do married guys wish their wives knew?
EI: There's more that they'd love to try, but they're afraid to ask.BettyConfidential.com
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