Into the Circle
"I'm not responsible for your happiness…"
Yes you are. And I am responsible for yours.
There is so much advice these days that absolve us of being responsible for others-in our love lives, family lives, work and play. Yet, we are all utterly responsible for each other and every action we take makes a difference of some sort in another life.
I was told recently that we all should be happy with ourselves and then we can love others. I disagree. I am not saying that we should walk around as miserable dregs of society. I am merely pointing out, that we humans, we have the power to bring joy as well as the power to bring sorrow. And maybe if we do some things simply to make someone else happy (as long as it does not damage us) then wouldn't the world be a bit better off?
We have become selfish in our self preservation. We have become careless in our criticisms and pointing fingers at others and refusing to accept the blame our actions may have caused. We have focused on the "me" in our lives and are constantly trying to make ourselves better. Yet we have forgotten to focus on those around us just as much which may just have a chain reaction and make them better right along with us.
I think we get very lost in the thought that we must come first, we must please ourselves before we begin to help others or heal others or please others. It isn't true. It just isn't. I don't have to be perfect to love you, to help you and to give something of value to you. In the giving of ourselves with no thought of "I am not good enough to do this yet", we become good enough. We become closer to that person we most want to be.
We are responsible and we shouldn't take that responsibility lightly. We are as responsible for other's happiness as well as their sadness. It is so simple yet so complex at the same time.
If I knew that all it would take to bring a smile to your face was a simple heartfelt, "I love you." or a hug, or a pat on the shoulder, a kiss on the cheek, a kind word--why wouldn't I give it in a heartbeat? Why would I wait or withhold what is dearest to another if it isn't a lie and causes me no pain to do so? What stops us from giving what costs us nothing to give? What stops us from giving what even has a high price if we know that it simply makes a difference in the world?
If it causes someone else to be sad or hurt because I ignore what they need or want doesn't that make me responsible? Doesn't that make us all responsible to do the best we can for each other? I think it does. If simply being there actually counts in someone's life, why would we ever think not to be there?
We tell all the people in our lives they are loved by our actions and our words. They count and we count. Why would we ever choose to deny them the best of us? There is plenty of it to go around.
Monika M. Basile