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    Let's talk about phone sex

    By | Love + Sex – Wed, May 14, 2008 4:23 PM EDT

    Over on our beloved Daily Bedpost, Em & Lo are asking the terribly impertinent question, "Have you ever had phone sex?" which is inspiring a lot of giggles in the people they've accosted on the street. Phone sex is ridiculous and makes you feel stupid and awkward and weird.

    We should all take phone sex tips from Kate Winslet, who knows that you have to throw yourself whole-heartedly into phone sex. There is no weaseling out, no half-assing it, no chicken s---tery. Have phone sex, and have it well! Maybe not with those exact words, since I suspect only Kate Winslet can get away with saying, "I'd love it if you stuck your Willy Wonka between my Oompa Loompas."

    Why does it make us feel so stupid to talk about sex?

    Is it because we're vulnerable and afraid of sounding ridiculous? Is it because talking dirty is so hard to do, anyway, without sounding, maybe, a little porny and maybe kind of dumb and completely the opposite of sexy? Or are you afraid your loved one is muting the phone and laughing when you confess that you regularly fantasize about men in suspenders and top hats?

    I'm all for trying something that scares you, going ahead and letting myself be vulnerable, taking a risk, sounding dumb but maybe also having a damn swell time in the process--but honestly, phone sex is one of those things I am really afraid of. See all of the above, and add a dose of insecurity that I'm just not good at it. I mean, I'm really not good at it. And that is really not sexy.

    Tell me--have you ever had phone sex? Are you good at it? Have you got any tips for the shy and faint of heart? Or should phone sex be policed by the telecommunications industry for our own personal safety?

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