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    Let's talk about phone sex

    Over on our beloved Daily Bedpost, Em & Lo are asking the terribly impertinent question, "Have you ever had phone sex?" which is inspiring a lot of giggles in the people they've accosted on the street. Phone sex is ridiculous and makes you feel stupid and awkward and weird.

    We should all take phone sex tips from Kate Winslet, who knows that you have to throw yourself whole-heartedly into phone sex. There is no weaseling out, no half-assing it, no chicken s---tery. Have phone sex, and have it well! Maybe not with those exact words, since I suspect only Kate Winslet can get away with saying, "I'd love it if you stuck your Willy Wonka between my Oompa Loompas."

    Why does it make us feel so stupid to talk about sex?

    Is it because we're vulnerable and afraid of sounding ridiculous? Is it because talking dirty is so hard to do, anyway, without sounding, maybe, a little porny and maybe kind of dumb and completely the opposite of sexy? Or are you afraid your loved one is muting the phone and laughing when you confess that you regularly fantasize about men in suspenders and top hats?

    I'm all for trying something that scares you, going ahead and letting myself be vulnerable, taking a risk, sounding dumb but maybe also having a damn swell time in the process--but honestly, phone sex is one of those things I am really afraid of. See all of the above, and add a dose of insecurity that I'm just not good at it. I mean, I'm really not good at it. And that is really not sexy.

    Tell me--have you ever had phone sex? Are you good at it? Have you got any tips for the shy and faint of heart? Or should phone sex be policed by the telecommunications industry for our own personal safety?

    Related Links from Elastic Waist and SELF:

     

    33 comments

    • Inky  •  4 years 1 month ago
      Phone sex is awesome!!! When my fiance (at the time) moved when his job transfered, it was to be three months before I could move as well, so we would have webcam sex and phone sex as often as possible. We would start out by telling eachother what we were doing to eachother (undressing, touching, etc.) then we would tell eachother how our bodies were reacting to eachother's touches. It usually got pretty graphic, and to be honest, never took us long to *ahem* finish. It was so sexy to be able to hear his voice and imagine the things he was telling me while masterbating. I really enjoyed it!
    • Winter  •  4 years 0 months ago
      YEA ITS JUST PLAIN STUPID. I LIKE THE REAL THING. WHAT AM I GONNA DO IF HE AINT REALLY THEIR BESIDES TEASE MYSELF? N THAT ONLY MAKES ME MAD.
    • Laurie  •  4 years 1 month ago
      Phone sex is awesome.My boyfriend lives in Alaska and I live in Mn so phone sex is very important.It keeps us close.I love talking dirty to him.Its a good feeling knowing that I can turn him on when we cant be together.
    • bloomoon  •  4 years 0 months ago
      I think phone sex absolutely adds a whole new dimension to your sex life. I have done it... quite often and it is very intense. But you have to jump in with both feet, can't just stick your toe in the water. No holding back. It's much easier to say things you might not say face to face... and the fantasy part of it, wow! For me, there isn't anything hotter than the sound of him completely losing control on the other end of the phone... turn on your inner sex goddess and let her rip!
    • Amy  •  4 years 0 months ago
      Phone sex is a wonderful thing for many reasons. It can bring couples closer together when they are far apart from each other or if they are curious about a threesome a phone sex operator can provide that fantasy. Your Brain is the largest sexual organ and words can stimulate you making your body feel sensations and help you to visualize when you masturbate. Men and women use pro phone sex for many reasons.. to act out their wildest and most taboo fantasies and often can explore a fetish with out being embarrased or judged by others. It can lend a voice to those who are lonley. Sometimes a gentle caring voice is all they need. Phone Sex along with masturbation is the SAFEST sex you can possibly have!! It can also provide a good living to many women and men. I have been a pro pso for 6 years and I can honestly say I think its wonderful!!
    • shawneebonnie  •  4 years 1 month ago
      I've tried with one of my ex's n would always end up laughing!!! I would love to try it with my boyfriend now when he asks but i just dont know how to begin or continue if he starts!! Any advice, please feel free to give it????
    • turtle_express16  •  4 years 0 months ago
      My ex lives in Columbia, SC and I live in Michigan. Our relationship was long distance, of course, so phone sex was a major part of our daily conversations. I suppose our phone sex wasn't typical in that we didn't really "talk dirty" that much. We just listened to each other breathe and occasionally reported what we were doing to ourselves and maybe what we would like to be doing to each other. It was exciting enough just to listen to all of her little noises and mentally trying to picture her pleasuring herself. When we were phyiscally together for the first time, it was like we had been together a million times before. I think it helped our first time together because we were already comfortable with each other sexually.
    • Gapeach  •  4 years 1 month ago
      My boyfriend lives in NY and i'm in GA. We have awesome phone sex almost every night. We talk really dirty to the point now we're just kinda running around the same scenarios. I would love to learn more to talk about but the pace doesn't stop just because the words do. If your in a long distance relationship you should really consider trying it. During the day while we're working my bf will text me nasty notes saying how good last night was and how he can't wait for tonight. I'm a very shy person and I find myself saying things I could never say face to face and my bf loves it. We put each other on speaker phone and allow each other to hear the moans, words, and noises our masturbation makes. Its nothing compared to the real thing but if you just jump into it you won't be disappointed. I even plan on get a few dirty talk tips from pornos.
    • First L  •  4 years 1 month ago
      I've had some pretty hot phone sex down through the years. I usually meet someone in a chat room, talk a little, make sure they have a good imagination and way with words and give the digits. I find that being an avid reader of actual literature gives one a good use of the English language and makes for more creative and intelligent phone sex. Nothing like coming at the same time as the total stranger you're on with. HOT HOT HOT.

      I've found a good phone sex room at literotica.com
    • alwayslooking43  •  4 years 1 month ago
      my fiancee lives in Columbia, South Carolina while I still reside in Fairfax, Virginia and just about each time we talk on the phone we have phone sex, now it is not nearly as passionate and as beautiful as it is in person but like he tells me just hearing my sexy voice talking sexy to him - brings him to a climax right there on the phone....
    • lypglossqueen  •  4 years 1 month ago
      I did it for a living off and on for 12 years. While it did nothing for me while I was working, in my personal life it was amazing. I picked up a few things being a "phone 'ho" that I used with my boyfriends. You say things over the phone that you couldn't possibly imagine saying face to face.
    • Beth  •  4 years 1 month ago
      Phone sex is great, especially when in a long distance relationship. It opens up a whole new form of communication. As you said, it makes us vulnerable and gives us that intimacy that we get from actual sex. I agree that the only way to do it is to just throw yourself into it completely. I have to admit, I've always had a hard with roleplaying and acting, but once you get started it tends to come naturally. As for advice for the first timers or shy people out there, take a deep breath and dive right in. Put on your best breathless speaking voice and get ready to let your naughty fantasies out into the open. And try not to worry about sounding silly, just enjoy yourself and the steamy conversation on the other end.
    • Jen  •  4 years 1 month ago
      my byfriend is in jail and he always asks me "hows your monkey?" it always makes me feel awkward for some reason.. when he was here nothing like that was awkward. we would walk around naked all the time and it was never weird! i dont get it lol hes asked for phone sex but i just cant seem to do it...
    • Ashsmom  •  4 years 1 month ago
      My BF and I have phone sex while I am at work...certainly makes the day go faster....but it makes the ride home unbearable!! I think I am going to go call him now...hehe
    • CJ  •  4 years 0 months ago
      phone sex is incredible, it is simply a motion by motion accounting of what you and your partner would do if you were together. its fun, sexy and great foreplay.
    • Amanda W  •  4 years 1 month ago
      I live in Arkansas and my b-f live in California. We hardly ever get together but we are on the phone alot. Phone sex can really be fun, basically it is masturbation for both partners while imagining in your head what the two of you could be doing to each other.
    • New Things  •  4 years 0 months ago
      I have fun sex a lot because i'm in a long distance relationship and it's very pleasurable, so don't knock it until you try it. If your partner or spouse is out of town that does not mean you can't still have sex with them, you just have to use your imaganation. If you care for the person it can be quiet relaxing.
    • godsgifted  •  4 years 0 months ago
      It's appetizing. Lol, my man loves the way I moan and speak in several languages. It turns me on to hear how "hard" I got him just by the sound of my voice. All you do is paint the picture and moan when feel that warmth between your thighs. It's like a prelude to good sex and takes out the foreplay. If I'm on my way to my man's, I'll call him and get him all worked up. Then I can sneak in, while he's laid out, "feeling" himself to my voice, then I jump right on and ride. Lol, but phone sex is healthy even in the times you can't get to each other. Pent up stress and backed-up sexual frustration. Especially if you're a nympho like me. Let it all out. Tell him/her exaztly what you want. Close your eyes and imagine it. Nothing silly about it once you get the juices flowing. Muahhhhhhh...
    • Ellen  •  4 years 0 months ago
      Phone sex is awesome I have friends who have been trying to market me for years. i probably would own my own house by know. Just go with the flow. relax BREATHE...Totally Awesome
    • Brooke  •  4 years 1 month ago
      Phone sex is one of the ways to maintain the long distance relatiinship. Should try if you are in a long distance relatioship. One friend of my did have a long distance relationship and they did sex phone almost every single night. It keeps them high & love each other more.

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