Living together can be awesome... and not-so-awesome
By Patia Braithwaite for BounceBack.com
I was in a long distance relationship for several years, and then, in an odd twist of fate, I was suddenly sharing my three bedroom apartment with two roommates, a cat, and my not-so-long-distance boyfriend. While this was only temporary (a few months), the phases that we went through were enough to drive anyone crazy.
Here are a few tips I picked up along the way:
1.The Honeymoon Stage (Everything you do is awesome):
During this stage, you are both tiptoeing around each other, pretending to be perfect roommates. Everything you touch is quickly returned to its rightful place; the bed is made every morning and breakfast is even had in bed (preferably picked off of each others' naked body). My advice: SAVOR THIS. This phase does not last forever, and you should enjoy it without expecting it to last.
2. The 'Did you just fart in your sleep?' stage (NOT everything you do is adorable):
So it turns out you fart in your sleep, he leaves cabinet doors open, and neither one of you really like making the "effing" bed. These are the moments where the bloom is off the rose and you start to see that you're both…well…normal people. When these moments arise it is important not to freak out. Instead laugh and realize that no one is perfect, not even you.
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3. The 'WOULD YOU STOP FARTING IN BED' stage (Everything you do pretty much sucks):
During this time communication is important, and I should emphasis that you must take care to communicate effectively. What's really bothering you? Is it the farting, or the fact that your bed is now occupied by someone else? Do you need more space? Annoyances happen, but how we deal with them dictates the success of our relationships. Be sure that when you discuss these little differences with your partner you are aware of their feelings and your own imperfections as well.
4. The 'You keep farting; I'll stop shaving my legs daily' stage (We both suck and that's what makes us awesome):
After the numerous "discussions" of annoyances and habits and freak outs and fights, you both end up in a nice groove where you can be yourselves. While it is important to do things to make one another happy, and to keep spice alive, everyone has differences and quirky (or gross) things that they try to get away with when no one is looking - to me, it seems that finding a partner that gives you the space to be yourself is more precious than a constantly closed cabinet, or a fartless bed. Enjoy each others' differences and remember no one is perfect - not even you.
Did we miss any stages of living together? Let us know! Which stage is the most/least awesome?
Patia Braithwaite is a relationship and memoir writer. Check out her blog at www.menmyselfandgod.com
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How to Date When You Have Opposite Schedules