Long Commutes Are Wrecking Relationships, Says Science

I just gave up a potential $14,000 raise for this very reason. No amount is worth sanity, relationship and quality of life. Why would I increase my commute from 25 minutes to 80?

Ha! I commute with my wife. The truth is exactly the opposite.

I don't buy this, my parents have always commuted 40+ miles and have been married 37 years and still going strong, my husband is military and we've been married 12 years and still going strong....it has nothing to do with the commute but how you handle the stress and how you treat each other.

I could see this maybe being true is said relationship was weak to begin with. But to blame relationship problems on commute? Silly, and overreaching, I say. Anything worth having is worth working for, and a healthy relationship requires effort...

It's all perspective. I commute about 3 hours a day, sit in gridlock, but it is not gonna change anytime soon. I can't expect to work 40 miles from home and not have a commute. On the way home from work, I destress from work, listen to music, catch up on phone calls etc. If you change your perspective on traffic, and realize it is a fact of life, and not get angry everytime there is another car in front of you on the road, then you shouldn't be a raging lunatic everyday.

The other day I got sent to another work site for some training which was much closer to home. My commute was only a half hour, ( I guess long by some standards,) but I actually missed having more time in my car. More time to listen to music, and just relax in the car.

As I said,,,it is all perspective. If a person lets a life circumstance like traffic ruin a relationship, then they have some growing up to do. Life if not about letting every imperfect thing dictate your moods. Nohing says you can't call your honey on the long commute home and talk for an hour and a half. It shouldn't get in the way of sharing.

When my office closed and I was given the option to work from home, my commute went from 2.5 hrs a day to climbing a flight of stairs to my home office. It has changed my life. My stress levels and BP are much lower, I spend more time with my family and I cook dinner almost every night.

I hope I never have to commute again!

It definitely hurt mine. My company moved twice as far from my house as it was the first four years I was with the company. I went from a 1.5-hours daily commute to a 3-hours daily commute. It contributed to my ex- and I recently ending our relationship for sure.

Not so true...my wife and I lived apart in the early 90s (she in Denver, myself in western TN) for two years, only seeing each other on the weekend. We've been married for 20 years, I don't see how it hurt us at all.
Not to say it wasn't extremely difficult mind you, but we loved each other too much to just give up because we were apart

No man lying on his death bed ever wished that he had spent more time commuting than with family and friends.

How True. 600 miles/week combined with 11 or 16 hour workdays will do that. You lose your sense of identity. Work in 1 county and live in another. Thankfully, that's over.

when unemployment lines turn to soup lines it won't matter.
take the yellow brick road.

I agree. If our zoning put residential area and commercial areas on train routes, we would be happier. Instead we unhappy in the American dream of gridlock to get to our nice suburban houses

I definitely see a correlation between troubled relationships and marriages and long commutes or jobs that involve heavy travel. Some people make it work, but many don't. The zeroth reason to be in a relationship is to, well, relate, and if you aren't around, you aren't relating.

IDK--I drive 130 miles a day and the cat and I get along fine, in fact I think he prefers it when I'm gone. LOL

Seriously, I think it depends on where you live. Back east you've got grid lock, traffic, and the possiblility that you might be able to find a job closer to home. Out west you've got to go 60 miles just to buy groceries and can cruise to work at 70 mph seeing more deer than cars.

I say distance makes the heart fonder...but what do I know. Don't have enough time together? Spend what ever time you have together........... happy to be together.

10 hour days and 1 hours one way commutes. All you will do is get fat, get high blood pressure, get diabetes, high cholestoral and ED. Then the employer kicks you to the curb. No prescription plan. All to maintain that blemish free house in the suburbs.

Been there, we just made the best of it. we valued the little time we had together. Nothing bad or good is for ever....

:( the last thing i wanted to read

no duh! its stress. my gosh how do people not understand something so simple? unless of course your commute is not stress to you.