bedWhen should I sleep with him? That's a question every women asks herself when she's thinking about breaking the sex seal with her new man.
Sometimes it's about love. Other times it's booze-inspired lust. Or as one friend, who always changes the sheets afterwards, puts it: "Is this guy worth an unscheduled laundry day?"
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It may not be romantic but you have to admit, it's damn practical. She's a busy girl.
Lately, I've realized that my friends all have different takes on the issue.
I was hanging with a pal who has been dating her boyfriend for almost four months. Call me Snooki, but I was totally surprised when she said they hadn't gotten it on yet. She has a rule: no sex until the six-month mark. The reason? Now that she's 30-something, she's not in the dating game for kicks anymore. If she's seeing a man, it's because he has spouse potential. She doesn't want to muddle up the getting-to-know-the-real-you process with sex.
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The other must? When they do actually do the deed, it has to be a planned event. No hot and heavy, spur of the moment thing. She wants a memory that they both can cherish as opposed to a rushed sex-spree. While I thought that part was a little idealistic, it's a philosophy I can respect.
Another friend has it boiled down to a much simpler equation: "It depends on the guys," she says. "Nice guy but not attractive -- three dates. Hot guy -- 12 hours." As far as she's concerned, finding out if you have sexual chemistry is key to considering if someone has long-term potential.
A divorced girlfriend has yet another stance on the subject. If she really likes a guy and thinks he would make a good boyfriend, she would sleep with him early on. Why wait if those heart-skipping-a-beat vibes are already there? If she is unsure about him, then she would take it date by date. There is one exception though: If some hot-beyond-her-wildest-dreams stud wants a one-night stand, she's totally game.
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Bottom line is dating is complicated and sex makes it more so. So when it comes to giving up the goods, you have to do what works best for you -- and your laundry schedule.
Do you have a rule about when to have sex with a new boyfriend?
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