I think it's important --from time to time-- to do something outside your normal routine, out-of-the-ordinary, something a little adventurous. Here's a story about one of my favorite adventures and a lesson I learned from it.
Excerpted from The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree. Copyright 2011. All rights reserved.
Lesson 2: Indulge yourself! Romance. Sex. Adventure.
I like being a woman, and I like being with a man: being courted, flirting, holding hands, laughing over silly double entendres. Something may or may not come of it, and that's okay. I like indulging that part of myself. Having sex is important, too. It doesn't always have to be love; it's fine that sometimes it's closer to "I think I kinda love you right now". Under the right conditions, sex is really good for you, good for your body, good for your soul.
And God bless Dr. Mehmet Oz who actively promotes sex for its medical benefits (which gives us another reason to do "it"). He says that people who have active sex lives have better cardio health, sleep better and live longer. Honest. He says this a lot.
It should be sex-among-equals, though. Meaning: not somebody's husband, and not somebody with whom you really want more, but can't get it. If he's not your significant other, you should both be clear what the deal is. That way, nobody gets hurt and everybody has fun.
The adventure part is just about pushing the envelope a bit. Dating should be fun... and occasionally doing something out-of-the-ordinary is particularly enjoyable. Dial it up just a little bit. You'll look back at it and smile for years to come. I promise.
The story behind the lesson:
I think it's important --from time to time-- to do something outside your normal routine, out-of-the-ordinary, something a little adventurous. Here's a story about one of my favorite adventures:
At 26, I moved from Washington, DC to New York and was just delighted to be here. I didn't know many people, so each weekend I'd eagerly set out on my own to discover something new. Looking back, I'm reminded of the line in Stevie Wonder's song, "Living For The City": "Wow. New York City. Skyscrapers and everything!" It was all so exciting. One weekend, I found myself in Greenwich Village. I walked around Christopher Street, then turned onto West 4th Street and that's where one of my favorite adventures began.
A guy approached me. He said he'd been watching me from his friend's window and liked what he saw, so he decided to come down. He was low-key and non-threatening, but hearing that I was being watched from a window spooked me a little bit. He introduced himself, giving the name of a well-known, A-list actor. I didn't believe him, of course. He did look a lot like him, though. I became a little confused...then my guard went way up. The monologue in my head was: "This guy can probably tell I'm a bit of a hick from out-of-town, and he thinks I'm gullible. He knows he looks like Mr. Famous Actor and thinks I'm stupid enough to believe that he is". I let him know in no uncertain terms that I wasn't about to be duped. He pulled out his Screen Actors Guild card to prove that he was who he said he was. The card had the name of Mr. Famous Actor. But I still didn't believe him. It's not hard to get a fake i.d.; how hard could it be to get a fake SAG card?