I am a true African Man. Born where the heat of the Sun thickens the skin. Over Land and over Sea, different cultures I have seen with the same way of doing this same thing. So many times I have watched my mother and several other women, so I submit that most of them are wired to do it by instincts.
Then now, it seems to me, that being in a relationship with a woman is like cooking soup. The deliciousness depends on the skilfulness of your hands, the availability and *timely* application of all the required ingredients in the appropriate measure; ...acceptance, patience, tolerance, respect, commitment, care, concern, faithfulness, integrity, consideration, understanding and so on. Some of these ingredients as freely given by mother nature and others are purchased from Life's Store; a place you can never visit empty-handed. Dedication, Determination and Discipline are the prices you pay. Haven't you realized that the true issues of life do not come cheap or for free? How on earth will humans value them if they do?
Who can ever underestimate the importance of time in the cooking process? There is time for everything; a time to apply and a time to extract, a time to add and a time to remove so it does not crumble into the soup. a time to stir and a time to leave it to simmer, a time to prepare and a time to setup; a time to wait until it gets done and a time to clean up utensils for future use. Disregard the importance of "timing" and nothing else would be right about your relationship.
Water, the chief cornerstone of every cooking; transparency, clarity and purity are such vital keys in every relationship.
A woman's heart is the Pot; out of it comes the issues of life. Her mind is the firewood; she is transformed only when it is renewed. Her feelings for you burn her mind like fire. And Money is the fuel that dictates the intensity of the fire. The more filled your pocket is, the better the burning. Hey!!! Am I implying that a woman's feelings for her man depend on money? Hell No!!! But believe it or not, women have burning needs that need to be attended to. One major way to show you really care for her is to provide some, if not all, of those needs. Her NEEDS I said, not her wants. And these, of course, transcend material needs.
There must be a burning under the pot; a fire that begins with a spark. And there can never be a spark without a strike. Our grandfathers worked with stones, our fathers with matches, and for us, now its lighters...regardless of the era, it, most times, takes more than a strike to get a spark. And that strike that ignites her burning for you is nothing else but your own burning for her. You strike and the feelings burn on you first before you transfer them to her. Take a quick second and let's compare the magnitude and intensity of what burns on you with what it becomes when it gets to her; another proof of the fact that women are multipliers. A drop of sperm you give her today becomes a living being after nine months. Would I then be making a mistake at this juncture if I swallow my pride, lower my colour and admit that a good woman is the best thing that can ever happen to any man on planet earth.
Finally, there must be a support on which the pot (her heart) sits, under which the firewood (her mind) is carefully laid. The yorubas, the tribe where I come from, a race full of energy, elegance and dignity, generally refer to this support as *Aro Meta* (tripod). A stand that is well known and trusted for its unequivocal stability & strength. *A man who finds a woman whose heart is supported by The Lord has found a good thing and obtained favour from Him.* Such a man has absolutely nothing to fear, when his woman's heart rests comfortably on a spirit, soul & body that has completely dissolved into God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit; the Aro Meta* that has never, can never & will never capsize your pot.
So Keep Cooking Guys!!! Ensure that the aroma is inviting but let no one else come close to having a taste of it. You are so permitted to be stingy, selfish and self-centred in this context. The Meal in question is all yours & yours alone. So when it is done, SIT DOWN majestically and enjoy it all by yourself...and remember that your children will be products of what you make of the cooking. So do the very Best you can to make it the sweetest meal ever prepared. And above all, never forget that Paul may plant, Apollos may water; but it is God that gives the increase. And just in case you are wondering by what name our Great Soup is called... They call it, We call it, You call it, I call it L-O-V-E!!!