What would you have told this guy?
Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What do you wish you had known about making love when you were younger?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): Wow. There are probably hundreds of things I wish I'd known about sex when I was younger but the number one-with-a-bullet thing I wish I'd known when I was younger is that, contrary to the Santa Claus maxim, it's actually as good to receive as it is to give. Really. No kidding!
I grew up in the "she comes first" era which, while certainly an improvement of the earlier "she comes?" era, still had a big element of putting women on pedestals and treating them like dainty, passive, recipients rather than participants in sex. I remember being really, literally shocked out of the mood when one partner pushed my knees apart, popped me into her mouth, then popped back up a moment later with this huge grin and said, "Oh, I just love doing this."
At the time it simply hadn't occurred to me that she might enjoy making me moan as much as I enjoyed doing the same for her.
Anyway, that's the lesson: if you're used to only giving, or only receiving, you're missing half the fun.
Straight Married Guy (Mark L): Gosh darnit, how to get more of it, or any at all! But seriously, I was raised in a pretty conservative household and school environment, so a lot of the early intel and guidance my parents and teachers imparted to me was the stereotypical old-school, one-Right-Way-to-do-things-or-else talking points (I won't say the A-word, but…yeah). I guess I do wish I had been privy to a much more well-rounded variety of points of view. I like to think that even my much younger self was mature enough to process it all with an open-mind, yet still make thoughtful, safe, and responsible decisions.
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