Gena Kaufman, Glamour
If you've ever been cheated on, you know exactly how awful it feels. But would it lessen the pain if the cheating hadn't, uh, gone all the way? Let's discuss.
CN Digital StudioUnless you've been living under a rock, you've read all about how Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson. In light of The Cheating Heard 'Round the World, we've already talked about a few related topics-how to stop yourself from cheating, things to consider before taking a cheater back-but some new gossip on Tragedy of Twilight has me pondering a new question: are there degrees of cheating?
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Evidently, Giovanni Agnelli, Stewart's director in Welcome to the Riley's, has leapt to her defense on Twitter, saying "I'll say what the manipulative media isn't saying...Kristen Stewart did not have any type of sex with Rupert Sanders." Now obviously, I have less than zero information into what actually happened in the lives of the star-crossed vamps, so I won't speculate on that particular affair. That's their business to work out. But I do have some insight into being on the receiving end of the "But we didn't have sex" defense, and I can say, it didn't work for me.
When I caught my ex in the midst of an affair, I was furious. When he told me he hadn't slept with her….I was just as furious. For starters, I still don't know whether I actually believe him. But mostly I just didn't care. To me the worst part was that he had been sneaking around my back, sending hundreds of text messages to this girl, slipping away together during lunch breaks, lying to me about his plans, and even taking her out with his friends. Thinking about all the time he had been with me, but thinking about her or maybe even texting her when I wasn't paying attention completely devastated me. Frankly, a bit of P-in-V action would have been the least hurtful thing about the situation. The most was how he had deliberately hurt me and humiliated me.
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Don't get me wrong, sex with another person is huge. If my ex had just gotten too drunk one night and slept with someone, I would have been horrified and hurt and possibly ended my relationship just the same. But the emotional betrayal in my situation was way more hurtful to me than if he had made one poor decision in the heat of the moment. Sex isn't the only way to betray a person who loves you.
What do you think when it comes to affairs? Is a cheating without sex less of a dealbreaker than a full-blown affair? Or is it the emotional betrayal that stings more than the physical?
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Gena Kaufman, Glamour