Q: My husband has put on 30 pounds, and now I'm not attracted to him. Help!
A: Although appearance plays a role in how we view a partner, if you approach a topic such as weight insensitively, you may hurt your husband's feelings or make him defensive, neither of which will rekindle your chemistry. If he says he's upset about the gain, assure him that you love him no matter what and that you know he'll lose weight when he's ready. It's fine to offer help if he's open to it, say, by vowing to take daily walks together. If he hasn't mentioned anything, you could bring up your own wish to eat better, which may get him to share his feelings about his body. Once you've started talking, you might be more empathetic, which, in turn, could help you feel more connected-and attracted.
Also, there may be something deeper going on: Are you unhappy with another aspect of your marriage but fixating on your husband's looks instead? Examining what's different now (besides his weight) may unearth problems worth exploring. After you resolve what's truly bothering you, my guess is you'll feel sparks again.Browse answers from SELF's beauty, nutrition, health and happiness experts, and send them your burning questions.
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