By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK
So today the internet is abuzz with a new trend: Dadchelor Parties, which are a lot like bachelor parties, except they happen right before a guy's first baby is born. Aside from the fact that while I don't have a lot of friends, I do know a ton of dudes, and none of them have ever had anything resembling a Dadchelor Party, I should say that I'm not okay with this.
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I don't have a problem with dudes getting drunk and acting out during their wives' pregnancies. I think that's an important part of the process of preparing for the biggest change in your life. But that acting out, that drinking, that urge to get away and go to a ball game with a few friends and act like a schmuck, that need to escape for a time from a newly (and terrifyingly) hormonal wife, all of that is born from genuine emotions: fear, frustration, anxiousness, insecurity.
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These Dadchelor Parties take all those very real and big emotions and turn them into a college joke, a cutesy excuse to score a keg and do your best Zack Galifinakkdsgehjdnkf impression with all your "brahs." It's like the Transformers movies: another way to keep grown men acting like kids.
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Your friends should be there for you to talk to, and get drunk with when needed, or even take you hunting for a weekend when the idea of what's coming gets to be too scary or too much. But trying to label those moments, or plan them, or share them with a pack of dudes, is ridiculous and juvenile. Part of the process of becoming a dad is learning how to deal with this stuff on your own, and with your wife or partner, and learning that there are moments when it's okay for you to reach out beyond your relationship for support. It's not about finding a great excuse to rent a skybox at a Pirates game and get s----faced with Schmitty and the gang. It may seem like splitting hairs, but to me it's the difference between needing it to be all about you and wanting it to be all about you.
Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org with Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.
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