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    'Obedient Wives Club' blames social ills on women who aren't 'good sex workers to their husbands'

    Ishak Md Nor, 40, is surrounded by his wives, Aishah Abdul Ghafar, left, 40, and Afiratul Abidah Mohd Hanan, 25, who are members of the newly launched Obedient Wives Club in Malaysia. (AP Photo)Ishak Md Nor, 40, is surrounded by his wives, Aishah Abdul Ghafar, left, 40, and Afiratul Abidah Mohd Hanan, 25, …Earlier this month, a controversial new club launched in Malaysia. Dubbed The Obedient Wives Club, the 800 or so members are certain that they've found the key to a long and happy marriage: Obey your husband without question, and cater to his every sexual whim.

    "Disobedient wives are the cause for upheaval in this world," the club's vice president and co-founder, Dr. Rohayah Mohamad, told told the Associated Press. She blames the country's rising divorce rate-as well as incidents of prostitution, rape, and even incest-on wives who have neglected to keep their husbands satisfied in bed.

    "When husbands come home, wives do not welcome their husbands with warm alluring smiles and sexy dressing ... That is the reality today," she said. "A good wife is a good sex worker to her husband."

    The Obedient Wives Club is the creation of Global Ikhwan, a religious group founded by former members of Al-Argam, a sect that was outlawed in 1994 for straying too far from the tenets of Islam. In 2009, Global Ikhwan caused an uproar when it set up a polygamy club that "encourages husbands to take more than one wife to satisfy their masculine desires," The Malay Mail newspaper reported. Most of the members of the Obedient Wives Club are also members of Al-Argam.

    Last week, a representative of the Malaysian Prime Minister said that the club was deliberately creating controversy to gain publicity and more members.

    "My guess is that the group is conducted by their husbands and they might be sending the wrong message to wives on what constitutes obedience to a husband," Dr. Masitah Ibrahim told the Malay Mail. " She says she is concerned about the club because the term "obedient" can be used to manipulate women. "For example, a husband can use the term to ask his first wife to seek the hand of another woman to be his second wife, and that if she doesn't do it, she is regarded a disobedient wife. It will be a husband's weapon to manipulate the situation," she said.

    The club, which was first formed in Jordan on May 1 and established in Malaysia on June 4, has sparked outrage among women the world over. Even so, new branches are planned around the globe; a chapter in Indonesia opens later this week, and clubs are planned for parts of Europe later this year. There is no official group in the U.S. so far, but some say its principals are similar to the movement founded in 2001 by Laura Doyle with the publication of her book, "The Surrendered Wife."

    In her book, Doyle says that "The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage" and promises marital happiness and peace as long as women "Give up unnecessary control and responsibility" and "Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage, from sexual to financial."

    But there is a key difference: While the advice in "The Surrendered Wife" hinges on trust and self improvement ("I am not saying that you are responsible for every problem in your marriage," Doyle writes in her book. "You are not. Your husband has plenty of areas he could improve, too, but that's nothing you can control. You can't make him change, you can only change yourself") the Obedient Wives Club seems to hold women responsible for every social and marital problem in existence.

    "The club preaches that the key to a successful and happy marriage is something other than an equal partnership," said Melissa Dowler of The Long Haul Project, a documentary she and her husband, Tom, are working on about the state of modern marriage. "They claim that the world would be a better place if women were to subjugate themselves emotionally and sexually to their husbands. We couldn't disagree more with this concept or their implication that strong, empowered women are responsible for the world's ills."

    "This group sets women, and the institution of marriage, back decades if not centuries," Dowler added.

    What do you think? Is it fair to blame society's problems on "disobedient wives," or is the club using "obedience" as a way to manipulate women?




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    105 comments

    • Wisegal  •  11 months ago
      It is too bad they are even discyssing this in Malaysia. It is the largest muslim population in the world and women are already mistreated, why add gasoline to the fire. I am an American Muslim and would never submit to such *&^% in my life and the muslim men I am with would agree or they can hit the road jack!
    • Erin  •  11 months ago
      This doesn't even deserve our attention. They're just another group of crazy extremists. Let them suffer from their own opinions. So long as they don't try to change our laws, they can live in their own backward little world. Let's just stick them on a figurative island and forget about them. We know they're nuts.
    • spotty  •  11 months ago
      Thankful to be American!!!!!!
    • Deven Johnson  •  11 months ago
      Wow. I'm thoroughly disgusted. Over the last 50 years, women have come so far in the area of equality and these women are actually encouraging others to go back to being one step away from stoning women. It's repulsive to me to think that some of these women have daughters that they're going to brainwash into this. If there is a problem in a marriage, especially in the bedroom, it's the responsibility of both partners. Men have had more than their fair share of domination in the bedroom. I would never want to oppress men. The goal is for both partners to get what they need in a healthy way and this organization is a detriment to the civilized world.
    • FayeHeart  •  11 months ago
      Oh God.... If someone I'm dating expect me to be his personal slave; I rather stay single for the rest of my life.
    • Jack  •  11 months ago
      obedience - the act or practice of obeying; dutiful or submissive compliance.

      examples are great students to their teachers, great children to their parents, great military leaders, great presidents (obedience to public service and nation's ambitions), great spiritual leaders (jesus, buddha, gandhi, mlk were obedient to non-violence philosophies), great self-taught people who gave up other interests to be obedient to a difficult path they chose (business, arts, sports).

      an obedient wife, or husband, can in fact make a relationship work great because most dominant spouses wouldn't be cruel or insensitive since statistically vast majority of people are not cruel or criminal towards opposite sex. a cruel individual would be so whether in "equal" western marriage or "submissive" eastern style marriage. look at how rampant domestic abuse is in "equal marriage". half of all "equal marriages" fail. it's about the person you wind up with, not the institution you marry into. and what percentage of married people are truly happy and completely satisfied in "equal" marriages? our "equal marriage" institution is no better or worse than their alternatives such as this one.
    • speck135les  •  11 months ago
      i hey forgot to mention that in our bibically ordained marriage vows my husband promised to love cherish honor and protect me...i live that in my every day life so i accept gods grace to allow me to obey serve and love him
    • speck135les  •  11 months ago
      to love your wife as jesus loved the church...christ died that his church might have life and have it more abundantly i proudly obey my husband who is a follower of the trinity.if it were any other way god would not have given me to him.
    • Isa  •  11 months ago
      Oh, God... the real Stepford Wives!!! CREEEEEEPY!!!
    • YumYum  •  11 months ago
      who cares, if it works for them?
    • kim  •  11 months ago
      Well, I have dated several men and I have come to find that a man who cheats is simply, a man who cheats. It doesn’t matter how "obedient" you are how much you wipe his a** for him, if he is a cheater all of your subservient behavior won't matter.

      On that note, there are many good men in this world and what I think all women should remember is that our insecurities can drive these men further and further away. Marriage is a partnership and how can a man ever feel comfortable when we are constantly questioning and scrutinizing??
      If you love a little bird and keep this little bird in cage… feed it well…. Love it often, does it love you? What would happen if you let it fly free? Would it come back? Would it give up food, water and love for freedom? I will not become an obedient wife by any means, but I do believe a healthy relationship is based on trust, sometimes blind faith, communication and love. What the obedient wives are missing is self-confidence, because they will do everything possible to keep their husband from sleeping around or allow other wives. How is that honestly supposed to make him want you more???!!
    • Vince Lane  •  11 months ago
      I'm all for it of course.
    • necron99  •  11 months ago
      a good wife is a good sex worker??? How stupid and might I add, you must be a memeber of the TEA PARTY !!!
    • PCB  •  11 months ago
      ohmygod, dis is just so sick n disgusting n stupid. those people r just sick sick sick in d head n cant b helped. they r a lost cause. let us please just ignore them. dis is embarrassing all over d world. wat a load of crap.
    • Annakin  •  11 months ago
      What I've come to find, is that men are never satisfied because they can't get enough - not because they aren't getting any at all or the wife isn't doing a good job. Aren't men always the ones actually getting off though? I'd say that men get much more satisfaction than women without much effort. I think that more often than not, women are the ones left unsatisfied. So why aren't the women out seeking other men? Ever think that the reason a women doesn’t feel inclined to pleasure you, might be the fact that you fail to do the same for her - ever? Why bother with the effort when you know it's gonna suck for you? HAHAHAHA Men just want to get theirs and be done with it. Oh, and if you think telling somebody how to do something will actually get them to do it, you're wrong. Men don't like to be told what to do, regardless if it's right/better. Men are deviants and selfish in the bedroom. We all have tendencies towards animalistic behaviors. What do you expect to get out of that other than what we already have?

      If you need to take on multiple wives to achieve pleasure, then there is something wrong with you. There's no way a group of women couldn't satisfy you, let alone just one woman. No matter how much action you get, it's never enough. The notion that your penis dictates things is ridiculous. Some self-control is lacking here. All we, as women, are saying is this: I am the owner of my body. I choose when, why, how and who I'll use it for. Everyone has that right.

      As with just about anything, this does not hold true for all men - just a good portion of them. :P
    • witchy  •  11 months ago
      my bad yahoo don't like my opinions either. sad live in a "free" country and can't have freedom of speach or expression
    • witchy  •  11 months ago
      Ok so getting with all the religious stuff when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing (it's in the bible look)!!!! A husband and wife are to cleave upon one another and become as one (it's in there). Honor cherish and obey?? Sure it's in there BUT what about the man?? He's supposed to do as brandy stated (scroll down) protect provide love & be head of his household. If you don't respect yourself you can't respect others!! NOW i'm sure there are plenty of women who are that freak in the sheets for their man/husband and I plead the fifth! hahaha But any how no matter how obedient/loyal/faithful you are the dog inside still runs and cheats!! It takes two to spark up the bedroom maybe you men need to get your skills together!!
    • Red  •  11 months ago
      I am very sad to see these sick men manipulated their wives into total slavery and prostitues by brainwashing them to create sick clubs to promote their ill desires. These wives/sex-slaves/servants are victims and need help. The UN organization for women's welfare should sanction these sick countries if they want to be members of the UN in good standing.
    • AliB  •  11 months ago
      So how is being alone in your old age working out for so many "liberated" women?
    • Amanda  •  11 months ago
      Wow, those poor women. They have absolutely no self-esteem or identity. That's just sad. I feel sorry for them.

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