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    Ramp Up Your Odds of Finding Love Online!

    By Dr. Drew's Lifechangers | Love + Sex – Wed, Feb 22, 2012 4:57 PM EST

    Although online dating has been a dream come true for millions of singles trying to find love, many others are easily discouraged and overwhelmed by it all, leading them to quickly give up. Dr. Drew's Lifechanger and Vedic Astrologer Carol Allen says if this has happened to you, there are simple things you can do to dramatically improve your odds of finding romantic cyber success.

    If you've ever had a blowout or crashed on the "super highway of love," read on...

    love

    Have a Great Headline

    Any marketer knows that the most important part of any written communication is the headline -- and it's key in your online profile as well. Saying things like, "looking for my prince," or "no jerks need apply" can communicate that you're going to be impossible to please or worse. Staying both positive and realistic is crucial to making prospective partners want to know more.

    Ways to Increase Your Attractiveness

    It's All About Your Photos

    Sorry, it's a visual medium. No one can hear your voice or feel your great "vibes" just from your profile. Even if you're a charming writer with an endearing, funny profile, if your pictures don't show you at your best, you likely won't get much action. So make an effort to have fantastic photos, even if you need to get them professionally done!

    Include headshots as well as body shots that show off your shape. Online as well as off, "truth in advertising" is always best.

    Look for the 'Diamond in the Rough'

    One of the biggest mistakes singles make is to judge others too harshly, only giving the most attractive or seemingly exciting candidates a chance, but it's a person's qualities and how we feel with them that make us happy, not how tall they are or what they do for a living. So, while it's good to know what you want, be careful not to reject potential mates for superficial reasons.

    Unless someone's profile has a big, waving red flag in it (like they can't wait to have children and you're sure you don't want any, or they smoke and you have asthma), give them a chance, even if their profile or picture doesn't "wow" you.

    What It Means to Be Amazing in Bed

    Be Proactive and Specific

    Women tend to be too passive online, waiting to be "approached" and "picked," so they often get less attention than they'd like. Try to do research on who you're interested in and take the time to actually read what they've posted, then comment on something they've written. For example, "I like that book, too" or "The story about your dog was so cute!" This will yield a reply far more times, and quicker than a long novel all about you, or a general, vague "hello."

    Don't Take It Personally

    By far the biggest obstacle to online or offline dating success is taking it all too hard. While the advantage of online dating is the access it gives you to an amazingly high number of singles also looking for love, it can and often does lead to rejection in high numbers as well.

    Understanding that rejection happens to virtually everyone can give you the courage and faith to keep going. If you employ strategies #1 through #4 above, your hits will start to outweigh your misses and your cyber love life will quickly lead to a real one!

    Is online dating a do, or don't? Find out in this debate between Dr. Drew's Lifechanger and Master Matchmaker Steve Ward and one of our guests looking for love!



    For more life-changing information watch Dr. Drew's Lifechangers everyday at 3 and 3:30 PM on the CW. Find out what channel it's on in your area.

    More from Dr. Drew's Lifechangers:

    Steps to Gaining Self Confidence
    What is Flow Dating? The 411
    Manslation -- Dating Via Text
    Sexy vs Slutty: How Men Differentiate

     

    3 comments

    • christy
      christy  •  3 months ago
      sounds like you two are negative
    • Ghost
      Ghost  •  3 months ago
      An issue I see a lot is that with some women it's like pulling teeth communicating with them. If you aren't interested, say so. If you are interested, converse a little. Contribute to the dialogue. Don't make it difficult, because guys lose interest real fast if you do.
      • Intellibot
        Intellibot 3 months ago
        I went on a date last week with a woman I met online and although we got along fine and had a few good laughs, she didn't start any of the conversation or ask even ONE question about me or my life. Nothing!! I will never ask her out again.
    • John
      John  •  3 months ago
      The single biggest reason some women are alone is that they expect a perfect man, in every possible way. Meanwhile, they have more issues than TV Guide in their own life.

      If you limit your choices to just .03% percent of the population, then you better have one #### of a good plan to find that one-in-10,000 man!

      The second biggest reason that keeps a woman alone is that they have no real love to offer a man. You see the hateful comments here, and right away you can see why this person is alone. She has such hate and contempt for all men, and it plainly shows even from a mile away, as she is driving her car.

      So, there you go. Don't blame your weight, because BBW women all have men. Don't blame your appearance either, because ugly-ducklings all have a man.

      Instead, it's your lack of love. You take one look at the man standing in front of you and turn up your nose. He's not hot, or rich, and he is sorta quiet and respectful. Meanwhile, you have a mental picture of a hot guy half your age, who drives a Porsche and owns a software company and a yacht.

      Plus, on dates, you sit there and mentally pick people apart. Building a long list of reasons why this particular man is not good enough for you.

      Then, the weekend comes, and once again, it's you and the kitty, all alone again. Truthfully, even the cat would bail on you, if given the chance.

      Finding love in your life is IMPOSSIBLE unless you have some to offer in return. I don't make the rule up, but I sure know what it is!

      Give it a decade or two more. Perhaps then, you will come to realize this and maybe change your behavior, and finally begin to have some love to offer.

      People are most attracted to kindness, and those who treat them well.

      I'm quite sure this is not the answer you wanted. So, feel free to call me a lunatic. Like I said, after another decade or two, you may wise up and realize what has been keeping you alone all this time.
      • Frannie
        Frannie 3 months ago
        Being alone as you resolve issues is a good thing to do. I think settling is always bad. Alone is frequently better than being with a large portion of men. Men aren't bad or substandard. Every man is not the right fit for me. I have no problem greeting the end of my life alone. I have a big problem trying to figure out how to accomodate someone who wasn't all that great to begin with and is now going to age into someone less attractive and helpful and useful.
      • Mari Vasquez
        Mari Vasquez 3 months ago
        I think most of us just wantt to be attracted to the person to start off. Im sure u John will not be walking up to somone u find unattractive but their nice. Its a visual game in the begining and no im defintly not looking for the guy half my age etc... whats wrong with wanting a man im attracted to then lets find out about ur qualites. This is what men do, why is it women get the oh ur want a model comment rich etc,.
      • John
        John 3 months ago
        I can make a relationship with almost ANY nice woman, regardless of attraction. I have, in the past. I've been with 300+ pound women before. Sorry, once you get past her face, the rest is just rolls and rolls of fat, that isn't attractive in any sort of way. But, the woman was nice to me, so I focused on that, instead of her weight. And soon, I forgot all about the weight and looked at the good things the lady had to offer.

        Besides, I can pick almost ANY woman apart, if I tried. A little floppy, in the breasts. Too tall in heels. Not that hot, sort of the beginning of bags under her eyes. Once you start down that road, you suddenly see all sorts of human imperfections. But, where does it get you? Like I said, it's about having love to offer someone, that makes a relationship. "Oh, you're not lovable because your hair is too short and I prefer long hair on a woman!" Yeah, what's up with that foolishness? You either have love to give, to almost ANY nice person, or you DON'T. Simple as that.

        Plus, I look in the mirror. Who the #### am I, to be going around judging women? They tell me I'm attractive, but I see the imperfections plain as day. So, where do I get off telling some poor lady that she's not attractive enough?

        I want relationships more than I want to stand in judgement of others. Plus, I've long since given up the insecurity that drives some men to need an attractive woman by his side, in order to validate his own self-worth. Once you become free from those restrictions, you suddenly find a whole world of opportunity, just waiting for you.

        However, this is MY way of thinking. So, carry on, as long as you are truly content in your life. My comment was intended for the women who are lonely and want a man, but can't seem to figure out how to make it happen.
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