What do men really think of cunnilingus?
-Justin DeMarco, BettyConfidential.com
If you were to give me a Hublot Black Caviat Bang in a black trash bag, I would gladly accept, but the packaging would definitely take away from the 18-carat white gold watch that's covered with 322 black diamonds.
Now, let's say, it's a Saturday night and I'm hooking up with a Victoria's Secret model. (If I can fantasize about receiving a $1 million watch, I can pretend I'm hooking up with one of the hottest women in the world.) We're in her Park Avenue penthouse kissing and hugging, smoking and drinking. Then she leads me into her bedroom and I see a sleeping chamber more beautiful than Chambre de la Reine in the Palace of Versailles.
I'm on top of her in bed, moving up and down her body. Then I pull off the product she has made famous in ads. However, instead of opening up to a clean, smooth, nice smelling area, I see the Gardens of Versailles and it smells like pesticides were spread just this morning. I'm with a gorgeous girl in a beautiful location, but the night is thrown off by one important detail - poor grooming.
To come back to reality and put it quite simply, when it comes to going down on a girl or receiving a gift, it's all about the presentation.
"I only like [giving oral sex] when it's shaved tightly down there or preferably waxed," Brian, a 28-year-old banker in London, said. "It has to be well groomed, soft, clean, and just nice all around. As long as it's smooth and clean it is super sexy. What's not to like about that?"
"As long as her hair down there isn't worse than mine, I'm fine," Lawrence, a 27-year-old waiter in Washington, D.C. said. "I just love the taste. And I know I'm so good at it. I've been told I ----- like a lesbian."
While Lawrence is confident in his oral sex giving abilities, he has admitted he hasn't had many bad bedroom experiences like Bob, a 27-year-old New Yorker in the advertising field, who was traumatized the first time he went down on a girl.
"It was a complete mess down there," Bob said. "I'm grossed out now thinking about it. It smelled. It was hairy. It was a disaster. I was pulling hairs out of my mouth and teeth. And to think I was so excited about going down on this girl. I was down there a minute and then couldn't take it anymore. She ruined my first experience and scarred me temporarily."
Meanwhile, Zach, a 29-year-old, married teacher living in Brooklyn, used to shy away from giving oral sex until he settled down with his wife.
"Unless I had Windex and a paper towel to clean the area first, I wouldn't do it," Zach said. "Now that I'm married it's different, but I still prefer when my wife showers beforehand. I don't want to have to deal with that fishy taste."
A certain level of intimacy is usually important for guys going down on girls. One guy told me about a time he refused to give a random girl he was hooking up with oral sex because he wasn't sure what he would find down there. He wasn't sure if she was clean (in more ways than one). That's why a lot of guys prefer to know what they're getting into with a person they trust and feel comfortable with.
"My take is that there's a certain commitment to it because there's a lot at stake for a guy," David, a 32-year-old restaurant manager from New Jersey, said. "It's not like a girl giving a guy head because guys are dry until the end. With girls that area can be a lot wetter and sloppier. So you have to really want to do it for the person you're with."
There's also a certain level of satisfaction that comes with knowing you just pleased your partner. And it's not exactly a secret that a surefire way to pleasure a woman is by giving her oral sex.
"It makes me feel good to give back to my girlfriend," Paul, a 24-year-old personal trainer, said. "If she's going down on me and I'm digging it, I want to reciprocate. I also like it when she's vocal and lets me know I'm doing a good job."
So do guys really enjoy giving oral sex? Well, it's just like anything else they might be eating - presentation really does make a difference!
Tell us: Does your man like going down on you?
Justin DeMarco is a New York City-based writer. He co-wrote Hockey: The Musical! with Rick Wilson, which premiered at the Toronto Fringe Festival in 2008.
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