Okay, yes. You're thinking I'm a small-minded doucheburger, but this isn't a new development so let's just move on.
The recent divorce announcement of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise was slightly thrilling not only because the Katie Holmes hostage situation was peacefully resolved (I mean, were we not all wondering what the hell happened to cute little Katie from Dawson's Creek because just who the hell is this super polished "Kate" person?) but, well, because they (mostly he) pretended to be so couch jumpingly happy all the damn time and I hate that celeb "we are over the moon" crap. Which, Will and Jada, I have my stink-eye on youse as well…
The cancellation of the TomKat reality show got me to thinking about the most infamous marriages in history, celeb or otherwise. Go ahead, check 'em out so you can feel better about you're own union. I don't know about you but just knowing Elizabeth Taylor married the same dude twice or that Kim K's much touted nuptials only lasted seventy-something days or that Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband's penis makes me feel a whole helluva lot better about my own marital bullsh!t. I mean, I may have assaulted a car with a shovel but I very sanely draw the line at maiming vital organs of human beings. And then there are the murders and suicides…
So, if you're an A-hole like me, enjoy the ego boost as you take comfort in the marital shenanigans and failures of 15 other couples from history!
- By Monica Bielanko
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Monica and Serge Bielanko have been married for eight years. Along the way they have practiced and perfected the dark arts of couch dining, clandestine boozing, bambino wrangling, wide-open domestic warfare, and modern love. Monica writes all over Babble.com and, in addition to Babble Voices, is featured on Strollerderby, FameCrawler, and Toddler Times. She also regularly updates her personal blog, The Girl Who. If he's not on Babble Voices, Serge can be found over on Dadding and is King of the Corner over at his own blog, Thunder Pie.