I remember the first time I thought of myself being divorced, tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt sorry for me. I was angry and disappointed.
There are always two sides to every story, so I'll avoid making personal comments about why I got divorced. In the most general terms, my ex-husband and I were either in disagreement and fighting about everything, or we just weren't communicating. We became strangers under the same roof, with nothing in common anymore.
Still, accepting that my marriage wasn't working was not an easy task, especially because we had children together. I went through periods of depression and desperation, without even having the time to stop and analyze what was happening to me. I was too busy trying to adapt to a new life as a single mom.
Eventually, I got through these dark periods, and came out of it realizing that, guess what? Divorce is not that bad at all. All our family members' lives have changed in the last several months, but today, I'm writing with a wonderful feeling of pride and peace. I'm happy to be me.
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And here's what I love about being a single mother of two:
- - I love making my own decisions. I know it may sound selfish, but I'm in charge of my destiny and the destiny of my kids, and I feel empowered and happy because of that.
- - I enjoy discovering my abilities to handle simple stuff that used to seem complicated to me. I recently fixed my air conditioning thermostat. I learned how to mow the grass. I have a great schedule for chores that involves everyone at home, and everybody is working hard and doing his or her best.
- - I love spending entire nights writing, reading and enjoying my solitude.
- - I'm dedicating more time to things I really enjoy doing. This is my time and it is all about me. I love running short distances, catching myself smiling at the mirror and listening at my inner voice, which never steers me wrong.
- - I love feeling that I have the power to give my kids a good life.
And I'm not saying entirely I'm self-sufficient that I have the answers to all of my problems. I understand I'll never be a dad. I'm only one half of my kids' parents, and their father will always be an important part of their lives.
But I'm enjoying myself and yes, I've learned there are many ways to adjust to your new, single status, without having to live with constant feelings of sadness and depression.
It's all about taking this situation as a new experience and an opportunity for transformation. You don't need to fill the hole with a new person in order to feel complete. You have to work on yourself in order to feel happy again. You need to learn from your marriage that didn't work, realize that you can still expect the best for yourself and your kids, and work towards getting all the wonderful things you deserve in life, married or single.
-By Eliana Tardio
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