sex in the 50sWe all believe that our sex life is at its peak in the late teens and in the twenties. We assume that sex is sure to become monotonous after marriage and kids. About sex after 40s, we wonder if there even such a thing?
But you will be shocked to know that in a survey conducted by Saga, an online social community for the over- 50s, 65% of over-50s claimed to be sexually active, with 46% claiming to having sex once a week. And 85% said that sex is less pressurized than when they were younger, proving that sex can feel better with age.
Great things about Sex in Silver years
You don't feel pressurized: Like what the respondents in the survey said, Sex, when you age becomes more relaxed as there is more intimacy than passion.
You are comfortable with your body: We are never truly happy with our bodies. We don't like our hips, toes and tummy, but with age, we are more likely to accept how we look and hence we can enjoy sex more.
No fear of pregnancy: After marriage, one part of sex life is dedicated to becoming pregnant while the other part after marriage goes in avoiding pregnancy. Thus after menopause for women, there is less anxiety and hence more enjoyment in sex.
Intimacy with the partner: When you have been with your partner for more than 20 years, you ought to become comfortable with each other. This comfort allows for making sex more pleasurable in the 50s.
Health benefits: During sex, fat and calories are burned, heart rate increases, and endorphins-natural painkillers and mood elevators-are released in the brain. These benefits are particularly helpful when you are getting older and have health issues.
For Men: There are noticeable changes in men as they age, it takes longer time to get erections and erections may not be as firm. It may take longer to achieve full arousal and to have orgasms. Erectile dysfunction also becomes more common. Drugs such as Viagra can help men achieve or sustain an adequate erection for sexual activity.
Menopause: As women approach menopause, there is a drop in estrogen production. As a result, most women have less natural vaginal lubrication, which can affect sexual pleasure. Women also tend to experience emotional changes. Some women feel unhappy about the changes that their body goes through and hence feel less desirable.
Diseases: It is in the fifties that lifestyle diseases like diabetes and heart problems hit us. There are many physical and psychological effects of these diseases on the sex life of the person. You need to have a talk with your doctor so that your sex life is no longer compromised.
Poor self image: As we age and our body grows older and frailer, there are changes all over our body. There are wrinkles on the face, sagging breasts for women and pot belly for men. Such changes do not throw the best light on us and we feel undesirable and keep away from sex and intimacy.
Sexual needs differ: Even when one partner feels a healthy urge for sex, the other partner may be closed to the idea. Then there is lot of guilt on one partner's part and resentment may creep between both of them.
What can you do?
'It's in the mind'
holding handsMany older couples feel uncomfortable with their sex lives. Even if there is desire there is a vague sense of guilt and embarrassment attached with it. Doctors also believe that is healthy to have sex until you feel like it and can carry it out physically. You must remove this misconception that sex should disappear from your life after you grow old and use this time to rediscover each other and grow closer once again.
old coupleYou cannot have a healthy sex life without having a healthy relationship first. Even though there is communication between the couple, very little about is regarding their needs, their desires and their relationship. You need to start communicating on this front too. There should be total transparency about what each partner is going through and what he or she is feeling. Only by this way can the couple revive the spark in the marriage.
Sex is hot, passionate and wild when young, but if you expect the same kind when you are older then you are surely going to be disappointed both by your own and your partner's performance. So don't put sex off, just have other set of expectations. Also remember that intimacy is just not sex. There is always a need for cuddling and hugging and even holding hands, to bring back romance lost behind everyday stresses. To read more about Sex in the 50s