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    How to Find a Sex Therapist and Your Orgasm

    Wedding ringsWedding ringsOrgasms are fantastic. If you don't climax during intercourse, a sex therapist can help you understand why. The decision to see a therapist doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Your sexual health is important to your physical and emotional well-being. A good sex therapist will provide psychotherapy with an emphasis on making your sex life even sweeter.

    When I mention I'm a sex writer, people often ask, "What does that mean?"

    More from The Stir: How to Have an Orgasm Like a Man

    Chefs and farmers share the same forte - food - though their occupations aren't identical.

    Similarly, sexual health professions include physicians, licensed clinical social workers, journalists, educators, psychologists, sex therapists, and others. You've read fellow sex columnists Dr. Ruth Westheimer and Dan Savage's sex tips. If you saw Dr. Laura Berman on Oprah and wondered what it would be like to schedule a counseling session with a sex therapist, here are a few tips for finding the right one for you.

    Check Credentials

    It's tricky. Anyone can be a sex therapist. Although the field isn't federally regulated and many states do not require licenses, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) has an online tool to locate a sex therapist certified through AASECT. The American Psychological Association also offers a directory of psychologists who treat sexual issues. Once you've settled on a therapist, be sure to inquire about educational background, academic degrees, professional training, and on-the-job experience.

    Be Appropriate and Informed

    For the love of God, never ask, "Do you have to sleep with a lot of people to become an expert in your field?" Indulging does not an expert make.

    More from The Stir: 3 Very Common Sex Problems You Shouldn't Feel Ashamed to Have

    Unearth Biases

    The spectrum of sexual expression is wide, and it's been said the brain is the biggest sex organ. Gauge your therapist's ability to understand how your gender identity, race/ethnicity, religion, alternative sexuality, or other sociocultural factors may affect your sexual values -- if at all, depending on your circumstances.

    Figure Out the Finances

    Your insurance plan may cover sex therapy. Call your prospective therapist to ask if his or her services are reimbursable. If not, in some cases, the therapist may price services on a sliding fee scale based on your ability to pay. Regardless of the financial arrangements, remember you are paying for their help. Be honest during your sessions. Remember what is said in the privacy of their counsel should be confidential and will improve your overall health.

    Image via Ernst Vikne/Flickr

    Written by Twanna Hines on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.

    More from The Stir:

    5 Ways to a More Satisfying Orgasm

    The Secret to Having the Most Magical Kind of Orgasm

    Understanding the Female Orgasm Is Actually Quite Simple

    Ladies Who 'Cant Orgasm' Need a New Excuse

     

    15 comments

    • M  •  3 months ago
      "you dont need to pay some one, just find the right partner" - ErikaSomebody should write a book on the personalty traits of a sexual woman. What would be useful is indicators What would be useful is indicators and deal breakers.. Sexual profiling.I believe some women are innately sexual and some are not. There must be some indicators or traits to help determine this. Lets make a checklist of inhibited attitudes that might work against sexual satisfaction. After you read it, add some more in another comment.Do you have shower issues in open same sex showers? How are you going to free yourself to enjoy sex with a man?Do you overuse the word " proper "Have you ever skinny dipped? Are you open to it? Why not?Do all your clothes show a guarded you? Button at the top in summer?Are vaginal creampies gross ? If you are a virgin, you can peek on the web.Did you self discover when you were a teen? No? Are you uptight?Do you have to wrap sex in a disney fantasy? Something uncomfortable about raw sex?Do you gravitate to the low testosterone male features? Afraid you might get an animal? Guess what, you are an animal too if you abandon your prissy ways.Are you real cutesy, bouncy, rah rah, everything positive. It is nice to see a woman who is not a #$%$ Could it be overdone? Is getting into the moment, boring? Could you you be sexually transparent or sexually aloof?
      • erika 3 months ago
        are you asking ME all these questions or just women in general. im not a very inhibited person, but i was inexperienced at hurting at the time i met the person i refered to. he opened doors for me, and i also refered a friend of mine to him who had been emotinally abused by her first partner who was also a very bad lover. she had some pretty bad scaring and could not accomplish an orgasm. they worked together toward that goal, with just a little bit of jealousy on my part, but he was good for her. i find it interesting that he was able to affect changes in a person like me, and like her, two very different sexual beings. i was on a downward spiral when i met him, throwing myself in any direction that would accept me and he put me back on a track of respecting and loving myself, and taking power in the bedroom and talking the power to say no if i wished. im married today, and i think it is in part, because of him. i think he has the type of intuiton to know what to do with the different types of women you have described in your proposed book.
    • A Yahoo! User  •  New York, New York  •  3 months ago
      Is it true that wedding cake kills a woman's libido?
      • Bob 3 months ago
        Wedding cake is why she is smiling. She no longer has to put out.
    • erika  •  Columbia, South Carolina  •  3 months ago
      the best sex therapist i ever went to was not being paid. you dont need to pay some one, just find the right partner
    • Chanheblutsvchostexa  •  Austin, Texas  •  3 months ago
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    • Chanheblutsvchostexa  •  Austin, Texas  •  3 months ago
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    • Chanheblutsvchostexa  •  Austin, Texas  •  3 months ago
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    • Chanheblutsvchostexa  •  Austin, Texas  •  3 months ago
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    • Chanheblutsvchostexa  •  Austin, Texas  •  3 months ago
      seawymen1. Semen can boost your mood. Sure, this study had to do with intercourse, but if the hormones in semen, mainly testosterone and estrogen, make women happy when they screw, why wouldn't they make women happy when they swallow? Going on that theory, swallowing can make you happier. So next time the kids are screaming for SpongeBob, think about the benefits of another type of bob. The head bob.

      2. Semen does a body good, pass it on. That's right, semen may be a cure for sore throats and diabetes! The next time you eat too much sugar and worry about your insulin levels, balance it out with a little semen (and, of course, talk to your doctor). If you lose your voice shouting at the kids for fighting, protect your throat with semen. These are only some of the possible medical benefits for semen. I can only imagine what else science will uncover about swallowing. Perhaps it's the cure for world hunger?

      3. Semen can taste good. Like French fries or fruit, it all depends on what he eats. When you're looking for a filling snack, why not a little love juice? It's high in protein and only 20 calories per teaspoon. And when he eats celery, cranberries, watermelon, and drinks pineapple juice, he'll taste even juicer.

      4. And for those who can't get themselves to swallow, fear not. You should feel good knowing that a little semen on your face may do wonders for your skin. According to The Sexual Teachings of the White Tigress, semen facials are good for you. And in her memoir, I'm Wild Again, even Helen Gurley Brown recommends the semen facial: "Spread semen over your face, [it's] probably full of protein as sperm can eventually become babies. Makes a fine mask — and he'll be pleased."

      Do you prefer to spit or swallow?Foods

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