Shake Things Up: 10 Ways to Add Fun to Your Relationship
By Lynn Zavaro, Author of The Game of You™
We have become a culture of "human-doings". There is so much to get done, so much to accomplish, and so many things on our minds that we forget to put fun with our partners on our schedule planners. If fun is taking a back seat, your relationship may lack luster. You may feel frustrated or bored or as if you are caught in a hamster wheel of the "same old, same old."
For more on how you better your relationships, get The Game of You here.
If you are part of the 31% of couples who want more fun in their relationships, here are 10 tips to shake things up and add some joy, amusement and downright fun into your relationship again:
1) Drop the "shoulds". If you think "We should have more fun, but we're not…" this is an immediate mojo killer. Fun cannot happen if there is a "should" attached to it. So let the "shoulds" and "buts" go for now and allow fun things to happen versus looking for a reason not to do them.
2) Be spontaneous. Just ask yourself, "What do I want to do that's fun today?" Then, suggest it to your partner on a whim. Be creative and encourage your partner to join in on the fun with you. "Let's rent bikes and go to the beach!" or "How about we go dancing after dinner?"
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3) Play a game. Both you and your partner write down 1-5 things that you would individually like to do that sounds fun for each you: A picnic in a museum's garden, wine tasting, salsa dancing, etc. Write them on pieces of paper, fold them and put them in a hat. Schedule a date day and draw an activity from the hat. Even if it doesn't sound good to one of you, do it anyway. Just the act of doing something new or different could arouse a good time.
4) Opposites attract. Do the opposite of what you normally do: If you have sex in the morning, have sex in the afternoon. If you usually eat dinner at home, go out for dinner. If you usually spend free time hanging with friends, then hang out as a duo or vice versa. If you watch movies at home, go to a theater. By changing your natural routine you could spark fun new patterns.
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5) Change your environment. If you eat at the same restaurants in your neighborhood time after time, choose a new spot in a different area of town. Invite new friends to dinner at your home. If you always vacation at the same place, travel somewhere different. Take a drive over the weekend to someplace new. Shift what's around you.
6) Create your own fun. Change begins inwardly first. So rather than make your doldrums about your relationship, take the ball into your own hands and create some fun just for yourself. What would you enjoy doing on your own? Take up knitting? Cooking classes? African dance? When you activate your own connection to fun, your infectious joy is sure to affect your relationship.
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7) Dream. Dare to dream together and share exciting possibilities together. Sometimes just the act of talking about the kind of vacation you'd like to take together feels like you actually went away. Or, talk about the dream house you'd like to build. Or the second house you'd like to have someday. It may never happen, but exploring each other's dreams could enliven, stimulate and inspire fun. And if you do achieve your dreams, then that's an added extra bonus!
8) Get some space. Taking time away from your partner gives you both space and allows you the opportunity to miss each other. Go away somewhere solo and come home to greet your lover. Take a weekend off or go out with friends and encourage your partner to do the same. When you come back, you will have fun things to share with each other, feeling revived, refreshed and lighter.
9) Surprise! Do something surprising for your partner. If on weekday nights you are usually tired, take an extra moment to cuddle with your partner. Say, "I love you" out of the blue for no reason. Think of something he enjoys doing and make it happen. Call him at work and ask if he'd like to go on a date. Make the reservations.
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10) Switch roles. If one of you usually plans the dates then let the other one plan. If your partner usually initiates sex then take the initiative yourself. If you usually do all the talking, then talk less and listen to your partner. Find fun ways to switch the roles you carry to shake things up!
When we take the pressure off and let FUN spontaneously arise, drawing on our own innate creativity skills to bring new and different energy to our relationships, our spirit awakens. Get wild, play and unleash! What is one risk you could take to day to create FUN in your relationship? What could you do that would be something new or daring?
Lynn Zavaro has emerged as a leading voice in the art of guiding others to know themselves and create the life they've always envisioned. She has a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and her book and card deck set,The Game of You™ offers a powerful, profound and FUN experience of self-discovery and transformation. Learn to resolve daily issues, develop better relationships, and come to better understand your life's path and purpose. Try the online version.
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