One minute it seems like the odd couple was totally in love, the next Jesse James was apologizing for cheating on his wife Sandra Bullock. Sadly, she's not alone. Find out the other famous chicks that have been cheated on.
What he did was totally heinous and unacceptable, but maybe it left you wondering, "Is there ever a time when it's OK to take back a cheater?" While your knee-jerk reaction is probably to send him packing, experts say there are some situations in which he just might deserve a second chance. Read on to find out when to forgive and forget, and the signs you should just forget him.
1) Before a Major Transition
Moving in together or getting engaged are relationship landmarks that are supposed to cement your bond. But the reality is, many guys react to these big steps by taking a step back and straying. "When a man feels his sense of freedom slipping away, he may cheat," explains Scott Kudia, PhD, author of If This is Love, Why Am I Unhappy? "It's very common for a normally faithful guy to panic and do something stupid before some sort of commitment." Strangely enough, his actions often signify that he's serious about his future with you. "The reason he cheated to begin with is that he believes you two are going to be together for a long time," says Kudia. "He views it as his one last hurrah." This isn't a get-out-of-jail-free card, though. Make him apologize and grovel. Then move on, knowing that this type of cheater usually doesn't slip up more than once.
2) It's a Total Aberration
We're going to put this bluntly, so put on your big-girl pants: The guy who's perfect for you might cheat on you. Yes, even the most amazing, flower-sending, call-returning, make-your-friends-jealous boyfriends have been known to stray. "Slipups happen, but the good news is that when they truly are slipups, they're survivable," says William July, PhD, author of Confessions of an Ex Bachelor. In order to salvage your twosome, it's important to resist the urge to get revenge (although these tactics are pretty amazing!), make him angry, or get anxious every time he doesn't call, according to July. If you're capable of forgiving him and moving on, do just that. After all, it was a mistake, not his relationship MO. Bottom line: give the boy a second chance. As long as he doesn't do it again (ever, ever, ever) and he goes back to being that practically perfect boyfriend, don't you think he's worth it? We do.
PLUS: We reveal why a man may betray you again.
3) He's Going Through a Tough Time
You know how when you feel stressed, you deal by watching trashy TV with a pint of Ben & Jerry's? Or surrounding yourself with 17 of your closest friends? Well, some men handle it by straying. "Guys are more likely to cheat when under great stress, because they have fewer tools in their emotional tool belt," says July. "Their self-expression is often limited to anger and sex." It sounds a bit counterintuitive, but if things are going well between you two, he is more likely to hook up with another woman when things get rough in other parts of his life. The reason? "He may not want to burden you with his problems," explains Kudia. Ensure that it's a one-time occurrence by letting him know two things: 1. You won't judge him or think less of him if he gets fired or screws up at work or does anything else that threatens his ego. And 2. If he does it again, it's O-V-E-R.
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Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.