I got a call the other day from a Favorite Reader who was feeling down about being single...primarily because she was feeling really lonely. As we talked, it became clear that this feeling of loneliness wasn't completely about being single. She was really missing her family and feeling frustrated about being disconnected from them. She isn't close to her siblings (her parents are dead) and she was dreading the coming holiday season which is usually rife with family celebrations. Moreover, she also mentioned that she had begun to spend more and more time at home, "hermit-like" as she called it. Being a hermit could certainly prompt some loneliness. I think she needs to (re)build a few relationships with people she likes to spend time with.
When I hung up the phone, I continued to think about why being single mostly works for me. Among other things (like I don't want to be with the same person all the dang time), I think one of the most important things that help me to have a good life is my full and varied circle of friends and acquaintances. I have lots of different kinds of people in my life and different types of relationships. Men and women. Varying ages. Different personalities.
One of the downsides of being single --for me-- is sometimes wanting someone to do something with me…go somewhere with me…metaphorically hold-my-hand in an uncomfortable situation...or just keep me company. If he lived in my house, the fairytale is that he'd always be available for these things and I would actually want him to do them with me. But this is real life, so… Read more: