Guidelines for having the conversation about going rubberless.
- Libby Keatinge, BettyConfidential.com
He wants to stop using condoms. It may just be a little piece of rubber, but it has big implications. "Sex is sex is sex and any guy would rather have sex with a condom then not at all. Until you are 100% absolutely comfortable going bare back, tell him he better deal and that's all there is to it," dating expert Lauren Rich advises.
We talked to real women about how the condom conversation went down, and how to make it go smoothly.
1. Have the conversation: You may not want to bring it up because you don't want to have a serious conversation and appear "needy," but sorry, your health and a possible pregnancy is something you have to talk about, so if he keeps bringing up not using condoms, you just need to talk about it and pick the right time to talk. While you are getting all hot and heavy on the couch next to an empty bottle of wine and he is begging you not to use one is not the time. Pick a time during the day, in person, when you are both sober.
2. Get tested: One gal we talked to asked any guy she got serious enough with to stop using condoms to get tested. "If he really likes you and is a good, health conscious person, he will agree," Alexa from Los Angeles says. "If he accuses you of not trusting him or of being dirty, then he is immature." Suggesting being tested also helps you weed out douchebags who you wouldn't want to be with long term anyway.
3. Do not go condomless without a promise of exclusivity: If you stop using condoms with him, you need a promise of sexual exclusivity. If you two have not yet decided whether or not you are bf/gf, doesn't matter - you at least need a promise of sexual if not emotional exclusivity. That means no oral sex either, people. If he or you don't think you are ready for that, keep the rubber on.
4. Always have another form of birth control: You must be using another reliable form of birth control if you don't use condoms. Pulling out doesn't count, sorry. Even if he says he has never gotten a girl pregnant by pulling out and it always works, it doesn't matter.
5. Trust your instinct: If you feel like he is agreeing to the exclusivity terms just because he hates rubbers, don't do it. Trust your gut feeling. If you sense he is lying, you probably should find another condomless candidate anyway.
Tell us: how did you approach the condom topic with your guy?
Libby Keatinge is a senior editor at BettyConfidentialTo read more from BettyConfidential: