The Curse of Being Cute

Me and my friend were talking about this the other day- we never get chatted up even though guys check us out. This had led to us lowering our standards because the only guys who chat us up in real life are the ones with nothing to lose and less fear of rejection (aka the drunk bald old guy in the kebab shop at the end of the night) When I asked male friends why this might be, they said we were intimidating. Most of my previous boyfriends have been guys I approached. Which is cool... but it's a bit of a weird one... being pretty doesn't always lead to being chatted up and having your confidence boosted... so if any of you guys see an 'aloof' pretty girl, it's quite likely she's feeling insecure and awkward not stuck up... go over and be warm and friendly to her and you'll most likely be made to feel welcome. We don't always have boyfriends (that was what another guy said he assumed due to my looks.) It's ironic.

This is very interesting. Years ago, my girlfriend and I, both successful women and both "cute" had many discussions about why we never, ever were asked out by anyone. Less attractive women seemed to be more successful at it and we could never figure out why. As egotistical as it may seem, we ended up chalking it up to the intimidation factor, which is pretty much what OKCupid is saying here. If a guy thinks you're too cute (or hot) he will think that there's too much competition.

I've been labeled "cute" my entire life, and hated it. Until recently, I realized that it really isn't so bad afterall! I'd rather be the cute one who didn't get a lot of attention, than the one that every guy wanted to take to bed. Who wants that, anyways?

I've got an easy explanation for this. Maxim, Retail Mall and Cosmo-style ladies are just incredibly BORING. Some plastic barbie that buys every new fad on the market, watches TV, and listens to crap top 40 music just holds no appeal to me whatsoever. Give me one with personality, brains and character, and add a look that's recognizable from across a crowded room. Enough with the mindless zombies already!

There's also annoying cute. Annoying cute is the woman who thinks it's attractive to smile when she's angry. You don't want to be there when the smiling stops, after the anger has built up without healthy release.

A good man who is healthy, respectful & treats you well wants a similar woman. Not a flake who puts cute sprinkles & frosting on everything good & bad. A good man will always see to the real you, regardless of packaging.

I've been called cute, adorable, ridiculously hot, magnificent, dazzling, stunning, and my two favorites "beautiful, prickles and all" and lovely. I think it's a matter of the moment what a woman is, depending on what she's doing, what she's wearing, how her hair's done, etc.

I get called the c-word (cute) a lot... I'm a confident woman, I have a confident man. Life's golden. Cute is for puppies & babies ;-)

happens to me all the time. I get you are cute but thats it. Its actually a turn-off when I get called cute. But thats my personality, I refuse to change my looks for a guy. The classier girls aren't sought out for anymore

It's only a curse if you allow it to be...

"Cute is more approachable than Gorgeous"

In person, sure. But that isn't what this article is saying.
"if a woman has a variety of ratings, she'll get more messages" Really, how hard is it to understand that guys want as little _on-line_ competition as possible.

as far as more approachable, that's in his mind, not reality. Many women are just shocked some guy finally had the balls to say something. Also, just because they apapear to be gorgeous doesn't mean has the same opinion.

I see cutsey as sexual transparency. or sexual aloofness

The conventionally-cute-means-more-competition explanation doesn't sound right to me. Conventionally cute girls and women get plenty of attention, and their experience is shaped by that attention. They often end up BORING. I suspect it holds for both sexes that people who have experienced a lot of ease in life socially don't try as hard or reflect as much, and don't develop as much depth (other things being equal). And there are always exceptions, because conventional attractiveness doesn't protect one from personal tragedies or other kinds of extra-normal experiences.
- - And then there's the near-end of the saying among guys that the crazy ones are the wildest in bed. While not always true, it's true often enough, and though great sex isn't a great criterion for a relationship by itself, and has a way of crowding out consideration of other criteria, it still holds appeal, if only for long enough for one to learn how fallible a criterion it is. Craziness has a way of manifesting itself in appearance, and isn't a part of cuteness. (Again, I suspect that something like this holds for both sexes, but I wouldn't have any way of knowing for sure.)

Perhaps this article makes sense. I've found that really attractive women are self absorbed and like "gift wrapped bricks"............. pretty on the outside and cold and stony on the inside. I always checked out their laugh. If she can cut loose and laugh, she'll be a great date!

I like cute! Who writes these articles? NOT TRUE

I honestly think I lost valuable IQ points when I finished reading this. Its like a movie with no ending. There is no point or understanding why....it just is there. Maybe more like a garden gnome!

this whole debate is ridiculous. Coming from a guy if I call a girl cute this means that I find her attractive but I may not be confident enough in myself to call her something like "hot" or "gorgeous" etc.
Or maybe its that she isn't someone I find hot or gorgeous etc. Its ridiculous to label yourself as "cute" because cute v. hot is more about personality than it is about looks. Hot can imply bitchy which is obnoxious and repulsive. Cute usually implies warm and friendly which is always nice.

A lot of times girls will call guys cute and I don't think anyone really knows what it means anymore. As a guy when I get called cute I don't know whether its sincere or if the girl thinks I'm immature or babyish or something or if its some sort backhanded compliment...
in the end what does it really matter.

If she cute great she smile I like...

CUTE is a word for kids and puppies. Although I have to say I kinda understand the logic here; I am not even attracted to guys who look like movie stars or who obviously have alot of admirers. I don't want to compete that hard really. And it's not about confidence as much as this article implies. Who wants to fight a bunch of people off your love interest all the time? blah.
Attraction is weird too...a person doesn't have to be conventionally "cute" to get you going, sometimes there is just some magical chemistry there regardless of whatever flaws there are.

People have become so lazy in the dating world its CRAZY!!! Online dating is so lame and fictional most online daters are just trying desperately to live their fantasies. Get off your ass and get yourself out there, stop being so dam lazy and childish.
As for the cuteness being a curse, its just a load of BS!!!
A woman's personality is far more important to men than her physical beauty, gone are the days were women can intimidate & attract men with their sexy appearance and were men will chase after you and pursue you. Men will not take you seriously if all you care about is your looks its a sigh of desperation & low self-esteem and that means drama in the making.There's also a new stereotype that men have for pretty women---pretty women are the dumbest women on the planet therefor they are the most desperate drama queens on the planet. Men can read women from a mile away we are not going to waste or invest our time in you if you don't have the brains to make yourself standout, so grow the hell up girls, stop with all this online dating BS, and get out there and make yourself standout.

I am just happy my husband and I - our relationship - is based on maturity and not "cuteness." Cuteness is fine for the kids but not us old fogies.