We asked Rachel Venning and Claire Cavanah, the owners of adult toy store Babeland and the authors of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, to share some of their insights on what helps women have great sex.
The biggest barriers between most women and a great sex life are...
Not taking initiative to get the pleasure they want, and worrying about how they look during sex.
Women can achieve better orgasms by...
Learning to masturbate and give themselves pleasure, which makes it easier to have better partner sex. Any healthy change you make for yourself requires making a commitment, so set aside the time to explore yourself and have some fun. Experiment with a vibrator that delivers clitoral stimulation, and then try a G-spot toy, which stimulates the little bundle of nerves inside the vagina.
The most orgasmic sex position for women is...
Woman-on-top is great because you're in control and have choices: You can grind yourself against his pubic bone for stimulation, you can reach down and stimulate yourself, or you can guide his hand to stimulate you. You can also control the penetration to a depth that feels best, and you can switch it up by spinning around to face the other way into reverse cowgirl.
The one-step secret to hotter sex is...
To breathe, which sounds so simple but is effective. For a lot of women, when arousal builds, they instinctively hold their breath or breathe shallowly and clench their muscles. But if you take deep breaths, it increases the flow of oxygen in the blood and can push you over the edge to climax or bring your orgasm to a higher level.
A great tip we've learned from sexually confident women is...
Don't be shy about asking for what you want, and don't wait for someone else to make it happen.
The best vibrator for women to get the most out of their sex lives is...
The Gigi vibe, which is the most popular one at the store right now! It's small and very pretty, and it can be used for clitoral stimulation or penetration, alone or with a partner. To enhance couple play, we love the Sonic Ring toy and the We-Vibe for couples.
Three Truths from the Babeland Bill of Rights:
1. You are sexy - the whole of you, inside and out. Sex has a bigger zip code than the crotch zone. Use your entire body for good sex. Use your arms and knees and teeth. Stimulate your partner's scalp and thighs and earlobes. Incorporate all five senses into sex. And think; your brain is the biggest sex organ you've got! Bring your head, your heart, your willingness, and desire for connection.
2. Enjoy the journey. Orgasms are great. We love them and wish you the best of them. However, the big O is not the whole point. The journey matters as much as the destination. You'll be missing the scenery if you are pumping away, gritting your teeth, and chanting, "I think I can."
3. Own your own orgasm. No one "gives" you an orgasm. Develop the skills and knowledge to make yourself come. Then bring that knowledge to the bedroom to share it with another person. If you're still pre-orgasmic, just remember that you have a lifetime to work it out, so keep the self-love flowing.
GET MORE TIPS FROM CLAIRE AND RACHEL
More from REDBOOK:
Tips from Our 40 Steamiest Sex Articles
The Surprising Turn-on You Can't Ignore
Foreplay Tips: The Moves Men Love
The Little Black Dress
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