We know that while most people are overjoyed to hear you're getting married, there are always those select few who can ruin it for everyone. So we asked real brides at WeddingChannel.com to tell us the worst things they've heard since getting engaged and have offered some tips on how to respond.
From WeddingChannel.com Editors
1. "Don't get married."
We're not sure why people say this -- maybe they just can't stand to see others so happy. Either way, if you're confronted by a cynical statement like this, try to respond with a positive answer: Tell them why you are getting married. "Well, we're so excited to get married; we love each other very much." If the person keeps insisting that marriage in general is a bad idea, just try steering the conversation away from your upcoming nuptials to something else they can relate to.
2. "You're getting married then? That's so inconvenient for us."
Unfortunately, you can't choose a wedding date to accommodate everyone's schedule -- and chances are, you didn't call up your 150 closest family members and friends to ask them what would work best for them before picking the date. You most likely considered those few people in your life who are most important (your parents, groom's parents, best friend) to make sure they could be in attendance. If another guest insists that your date is inconvenient for them, a polite phrase like, "Our intent was never to inconvenience anyone with our wedding," should do the trick.
3. "Those decorations won't look good at the reception. You should..."
This might be the one we hear most often! Everyone has a different aesthetic, but at the end of the day, the only people who really have to love the decor are you and your fiance. If someone close to you insists that the decor doesn't work, ask them to give you a specific, tactful reason; for instance, "Lime green just doesn't match neon orange." Tell them that unless they have constructive criticism to offer, you'd rather not hear what they have to say.
...Your dress? Your catering? Your venue? Your honeymoon? Yes, some people will ask you about cost. Delicately evade a direct response, and instead say something like, "Well, we've been saving up for the wedding for a while so we could really have what we want." Or, "So far we've kept everything within our budget, so we're doing a great job in terms of expenses". You could also try playing dumb; "You know, I put a deposit in months ago and I don't even remember anymore."
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5. "So what kind of wedding diet have you decided to go on?"
Let's assume that your family member or close friend who asked you this meant it with the best intentions. They probably don't realize that you, like lots of other brides, might be beating yourself up about your figure when, really, you're going to look (and feel!) your best on your wedding day. If you are indeed planning on losing weight, shrug off the comment; "I've decided to go to the gym more often and eat healthier in general, but I'm not going to obsess about it." And if you're not planning on dropping a single pound -- good for you! -- try something like, "No diet. I'm very happy with the way I look right now -- and my fiance is too!"
6. "Why now? You've already been living together for two years already."
This one, perhaps more than the others, really isn't anyone else's business. Whether you've chosen to get married after living together for one year or ten years, it's a personal choice, and only you and your fiance need to be involved in that decision. Today, marriage isn't just about moving in together, but more about combining two lifestyles and committing to a lifetime together. Respond with the fact that you're both excited about the commitment you'll be making in front of your friends and family and can't wait to start your lives together.
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