check pleaseMorning radio, it seems as a rule, is really bad, which is just one reason I'm thrilled I don't have to be subjected to it during an a.m. commute these days. But when I went on a couple of errands today, I tuned in while the DJs were talking about ditching a bad date. As in, actually getting up in the middle of drinks, dinner, movies, or bowling, making some BS excuse (like "I have to take a phone call real quick" or "Just going to the ladies' room!") and then ... booking it. The conversation totally hit a nerve for me, because it's something I really wish I had been ballsy enough to do several years ago.
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You see, I had made a conscious decision to find Mr. Right, so I pretty much devoted myself to a full-time second job, in which my sole responsibility was to date like crazy. (Which meant I was subject to meeting LOADS of crazies!)
During the first month of living in NYC, one guy I met online started sending me looong, sweet, but seemingly normal emails. Being the writer that I am, I was impressed with this. I was also intrigued when he told me he was in "sports marketing." Cool, he's driven, I thought. I decided we should probably go out on a date ASAP ... a lesson I had learned from spending too long getting excited about emails when there was obviously a real person behind them who needed to be met and chemistry with said person that needed to be evaluated.
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My first big mistake here: Not taking the time to talk to this guy on the phone first. We made our date plans via email, and the first time I heard his voice was when he called to tell me he was on his way to the subway to meet me. And you know how you can get the vibe of someone's personality over the phone? Yeah, well, the sense I got was that this guy was a creep. Dun dun daaaah.
Turned out his voice matched his entire demeanor to a tee. In our first few moments at the dark and now totally awkward "sexy" cocktail bar I chose for our date, I knew off the bat that I wasn't into him at all. Somehow, it got worse. He told me more about his "sports marketing" job ... he sold peanuts at one of the local baseball stadiums. Um. WHAT?! I'm not being a snob, but come on -- that's NOT sports marketing. I felt super-duped, and he was getting sketchier by the second. I was honestly very uncomfortable around the guy, but when I excused myself to use the ladies' room ... I actually went to the restroom, and I returned to the table, even though I was wildly fantasizing about making a run for it. But I didn't. And I let him get as far as footsteps from my apartment (I managed to orchestrate a goodbye at the door of a different building, so he wouldn't know exactly where I lived).
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I now strongly believe if I had to do it all over again, I would have DITCHED that bad date! As in, gone to the bathroom and NEVER COME BACK. Obviously, not every bad date calls for leaving the schmo with the bill -- something some might describe as spineless. Maybe the more appropriate move in some cases is to tell the person something like, "Eh, I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out," or even just saying you have to go meet a friend or walk a dog or wash your hair, ha. But there are certain circumstances -- especially for women -- when it is definitely smart to just get the heck out of dodge! In fact, after what I've been through, I would highly recommend it.
Have you or have you ever wished you had ditched someone mid-bad date?
Image via Steve Snodgrass/Flickr
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