User Post: Trying to Love a Bad Boy Gone Good

It's no secret, women prefer the bad boy! Sorry guys, it's true! It's been reported on, talked about, picked apart to the point of exhaustion. Recently science even proved it! A University of British Columbia study of a thousand people found most women were attracted to pictures of men who looked brooding or up to something as opposed the happy, "smiling" guys. Researchers say it boils down to evolution; brooding equals masculine while smiling equals vulnerable.

I admit, I am one of those chicks who digs the bad boy, which is easily explained ... I am the accidental product of teenage parents (whom I love dearly,) the oldest of six siblings, and a complete over-achiever in my academic and professional careers. So when I break from my responsibilities, I like having hot guys in my life who take me for rides on the wild side!

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But my "head drama" isn't over trying to win my bad boy's heart, it's over my favorite bad boy seemingly turning good! Yep! I can't really reveal too much about him, as I don't kiss, tell and blab - or blog. Suffice it to say, the guy who turned me on for years with his looks, his attitude and his rock-star lifestyle, is now living with his family, grinding hard in business and purposely losing some edge. Long story short, he went through some stuff, lost himself in it and is rebounding in middle-age by trying to make good. While I am proud of him and support him 100%, the chemistry just isn't the same.

I feel guilty having "drama" over this, after all, this guy is getting his sh*t together! I just can't help it, when I'm with him, I can't help but miss the old him and the old us. We were super sexy, a bit dangerous and always a good time! Now, the hotness has cooled and the sexy has turned a little more serious. The chemistry isn't gone, but its definitely different.

Related: Are You Addicted To Dating A**holes?

I know what you're thinking; yes, I realize people have to change with age! We can't be as carefree in our late 30s as we were in our mid 20s.... and if not age, circumstances undoubtedly force us to tweak our habits and personalities. So maybe he's just "grown up" in ways that I already had and now that we're similar, it's changed our dynamic. Hmmmm. What I know for sure is, I wish I could get to the place where the appreciation I have IN MY HEAD for his transformation has trickled down TO MY HEART that used to burn so passionately for his bad self! Unfortunately, it's still a work in progress.

And I put this out there, knowing damn well there isn't an "answer." There's never an answer to feelings (they're subjective, of course.) But I am wondering if it's selfish of me to be yearning for my bad boy who turned good? I guess while I'm feeling it out, I'll turn on some P Diddy and let the bad boys of rap distract my older, sans bad boy self!

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