Two Male Strippers Share How to Make a Man Feel Sexy

by Gena Kaufman, Glamour

"Remember that time I watched male exotic dancers rehearse a zombie-themed routine and then interviewed two of them about their lives as strippers, for work?" asked a person who used to be a lawyer and can't believe this is her job now, AKA me.

Yep, that's right. In addition to the many things I loved about attending Romanticon, I also got to interview two guys you might describe as "real life Magic Mikes." Taylor Cole and Justin Whitfield are two male strippers (and genuinely nice guys, honest!), and together they've written a book published by Ellora's Cave about their experiences. They sat down and gave me a little preview of what you might read in the book.

A little bit of background on the life of a male stripper....

How one becomes a male stripper: Both guys grew up in small towns, and they both remember wanting to be strippers from a young age. "I remember I saw a commercial for Chippendales on TV…. And I was like wow, that is just the coolest job ever" said Taylor. The guys talked about watching their dads or other dads work blue collar jobs they didn't enjoy, and it made them want to find a job they really liked. Enter stripping. They both began their entrance into the world of exotic dance by competing in amateur nights (Taylor won, but he was too young to legally work there), and when Justin was working professionally later, he helped get Taylor into the business for real.

Don't underestimate a male stripper: Justin also owns a sports bar and grill, and Taylor has his own construction company (and obviously, they're both authors now). Justin cautions people to remember, "Just because they're strippers doesn't mean they're stupid or they're losers. You have winners and you have losers in everything you do."

Why a female audience is much harder to please: I asked the guys to explain why (based on my limited experience, mostly from movies) male strippers seemed to have choreographed group routines, whereas female strippers just seem to do their own thing. They guys say "When men go to a strip club they wanna see some naked women. Women come in, they wanna see a man with a good job--firemen, policemen. Women require much more to get stimulated because it's in their minds whereas men, it's all in their…little head." And apparently, women really like to make a guy work for it. The guys add, "It's harder to make a girl wanna get up and give a guy money, you really have to entertain a girl."

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But what about their love lives?

How women react to their profession: "Most of them meet us there, so they're kind of open to it already. The typical girl is cool at first. They're trying it out to see if they can deal with that," says Taylor. But after a few months, the suggestions to find a new job start rolling in, and that's when the guys bail. As Taylor says, "I mean, I like my job."

But hey now, don't assume they're all man whores: Justin is married with two kids! When I asked how his wife felt about his career, he said "She met me onstage. In order to be with me, you have to let me be me." A good relationship tip for anyone, really. Justin adds that he's certainly faced temptation before, but he always resists it because he would never cheat on his wife. He did eventually get tired of the temptation and quit to focus on his other businesses, but he misses the fun and camaraderie.

On the other hand...: I asked Taylor, who is single, if he would even want to be in a relationship. He responded, "If I found the right girl I would." "Don't lie," Justin quickly interjected, and I died laughing. But really, Taylor swears, "I have been in relationships before and whenever I was in those serious relationships, whenever I got off work, I went home to them because that's who I wanted to go home with. I wanted to be with them. But I like being single and I work so much, it wouldn't be fair to be in a relationship with a girl right now because I wouldn't have time for her. So I like to date and go out and have fun. A lot of fun."

There's a reason they love what they do, and you can take that knowledge and use it on your own guy, without making him wear a thong...

What do you like about being a stripper: Taylor says, "I like the performance of it. I like to feel that light in my face and hear that crowd just....(insert roar of the crowd noise here)." Justin adds, "Most guys never get that feeling of women just screaming so loud for them, and it's intoxicating."

How can a regular girl give a regular guy that feeling of intoxication?: I asked Taylor about something he said in an xoJane.com article he penned --"Our culture tends to focus on making women feel sexy, but in my world the guys get to be sexy and feel sexy." The guys seem to love the rock star feeling that comes from entertaining a crowd of raucous women, so I asked if the average girl needs to make her man feel sexy too. A definite yes from the guys, because, "If I don't feel sexy, I don't really wanna have sex."

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So, what can a woman do to make a man feel like a rock star? A few words of wisdom from the guys "Be funny. Be laid back. Let us be us. And don't be shy. If there's something that a girl wants to try with a guy--I don't know, maybe I'm not like most guys, I'm a little extreme--but if a girl wants to try something different and she's getting turned on by it, it's gonna turn me on." Additionally, Taylor says, "The best relationships I've been in are the ones where we did fun stuff all the time. You don't have to travel or spend a lot of money to do fun stuff....Life is short."

What makes a woman catch the eye of the man on stage: The guys say they're usually too busy focusing on their routines, but sometimes they'll take notice: "Aura, maybe what she's wearing, something about her stands out. Sometimes I'll focus in on that and I can't even concentrate on the whole performance. A smile, a pretty smile." And ditch the snobbery: "Don't act like you're too good to come tip a dollar. Make us wanna be around you because you're fun. That's why we do what we do."

And of course, Ihadto ask about their grooming routines...

How do they get that smooth skin: "Tan. Shave. We tried Nair, but it burns." What? They don't even have to submit to the torture that is waxing? NO FAIR. In fact, one of the guys says he's not even hairy anywhere but his legs, so he doesn't even have to shave. So there's no secret weapon or magic product then? "I only shave with the grain…I don't know if that helps. It gets a little stubbly, but.."

Sigh. Men always have it easier.

For more of their tales of the craziness that comes with their job, plus their Dos and Don'ts of seducing a stripper, check out "Take It Off! The Naked Truth About Male Strippers" on Amazon for the eBook, available now. The paperback will be available in December, so Merry Christmas, Mom!

Be honest: have you ever gone to see a male strip show?? Details, please! Were you surprised by anything the guys had to say?

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