Unfortunately, I Love You My husband says getting me to fall in love with him was like taming a wild horse.
It was love at first sight for me the moment I met him, but that didn't stop me from driving myself insane trying to not love him. I was scared to death of letting my heart go and trusting him with it. I did not want to get hurt. Plus, I'm kind of a control freak.
I recall one particular argument, about three months into our relationship when I was in tears, trying to convince myself that this would not work. How could it? It was too good. Jonathan told me that I was doing everything to try to sabotage the relationship.
"I know," I replied. "Unfortunately, I love you."
He started laughing and that was that. This phrase has become quite a meaningful one in my marriage and it proves to me the point I try to make with all single women looking for love - you MUST love him uncontrollably, immensely and unequivocally or else it just won't work. Why? Because guys do stuff that will drive you nuts, test your will, and get on your last nerve, but you can and will live through it all if you really love him and he really loves you.
I was recently talking to a girlfriend who just got engaged. She wasn't sure about marrying her beau because there were just too many factors that she didn't like. She didn't like the ring he picked out, she didn't want to move into his house and she didn't like his dog. I wanted to be supportive, but I also wanted to tell her the truth that he obviously wasn't the right guy and she was not in love with him.
If you are letting these kinds of things determine your love, I wanted to say, then he's not the right guy. When you really fall in love with someone, these things become trivial. All of a sudden, you don't care that he's divorced with two kids or that his mother-in-law is a beast from hell or that he is carrying around fifteen extra pounds. Your heart tells you, "That's the one." You can't make yourself fall in love with someone. That's why love is so hard to find.
It really hit me about a year ago while we were in the car. My husband was humming along to a song, and it didn't faze me at all. I realized this was amazing because I can't stand humming. My ex-boyfriend was a hummer and when he would hum in the car, it would drive me to such a crazy place of anger that I am grateful I am not a gun owner. But here was my husband, also humming, and I didn't care. Why? Because I love him. It's amazing what you can endure when you love someone.
This is why, dear hubby, I will let you watch your war shows and lame westerns because, "Unfortunately, I love you."
I will close the cabinet doors that you leave open, and throw out the trash that you leave on the counter (even though the waste basket is within arm's reach, because, "Unfortunately, I love you." I will live with your weird figurine heirlooms and hideously scary bird statues and bullet lamp because, "Unfortunately, I love you."
I will let the garage project go untouched for months and months because, "Unfortunately, I love you." I will live through your nervous panic attacks about packing before we go on a trip because -- yes, you guessed it -- "Unfortunately, I love you."
I will ooh and ahh about your biceps each time you show them to me because, "Unfortunately, I love you." I am okay with you teasing and man-handling the dog because, "Unfortunately, I love you." And above all, I will endure your constant throat-clearing and general noisy boy-ness, because, above all, no matter what, "Unfortunately, I love you."
I know that my husband also must think similar things about me and I am grateful that he loves me enough to deal with them.
In particular, I thank you, hubby, for installing the bathroom light fixture that I know you hate. I thank you for letting me have ALL of the closets in the house. I thank you for watching 'Downton Abbey" and "Honey Boo Boo" with me. I thank you for being kind when I have an upset tummy and it affects the air you breathe. I am grateful that you let me use your chest as a pillow even though it makes your arm fall asleep.
I know you do it because, "Unfortunately, you love me."
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