I hesitate to disagree with the immortal La Rochefoucauld, but I think he was wrong when he wrote, "We are always bored by those whom we bore."
Not always (though I often remind myself of this observation when I'm feeling bored by someone else). I think that sometimes we find a topic so interesting that it's easy to lose sight of the fact that it might not be interesting to someone else. And most of us want to make a good impression and avoid boring other people.
Unless you get a truly enthusiastic response from your interlocutor-which is possible-be very wary of recounting…
1. A dream.
2. The recent changes in your child's nap schedule.
3. The route you took to get here.
4. An excellent meal you once had at a restaurant.
5. The latest additions to your wine cellar.
6. An account of your last tennis game.
7. The plot of a movie, play or book-in particular, the funny parts.
What do these subjects have in common? The listener has nothing to add. He or she must just hear you describe your experience.
Now, it's not as if these subjects could never be interesting to someone. A great storyteller, of course, can make anything interesting.
And if a person has a child the same age as yours, or is a fellow oenophile, or is truly very curious about the latest addition to Philip Roth's oeuvre, you might have a happy conversational partner.
Be on guard, though, for glazed expressions, noncommittal grunts, or darting eyes.
And here's a point that I constantly prod myself to remember, because I love to tell a good, long, self-interested story as much as anyone: if you're having a conversation with someone, and it's interrupted, and that person shows no interest in picking up the thread of the dropped conversation, let it go.
"Oh, just to finish what I was saying, then we switched from I-95 to the Hutch, and then we took the next exit, which was wrong, so then we turned around and…"
Of course, the seven topics listed above are just examples. I'm sure I'm missing some topics that are easily made boring. Any spring to mind? Help your fellow readers to stay the life of the party…
* Interested in starting your own happiness project? If you'd like to take a look at my personal Resolutions Chart, for inspiration, just email me at grubin, then the "at" sign, then gretchenrubin dot com. (Sorry about writing it in that roundabout way; I'm trying to thwart spammers.) Just write "Resolutions Chart" in the subject line.
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