One of my favorite television series is "Sex and the City." I think it has empowered women to speak up about their sexuality. And I believe that women have been able to identify with the characters and begin to understand that all women go through break ups…even the most successful and beautiful women.
I question the ending of the show because although it was a romantic ending and it's what everyone wanted for "Carrie Bradshaw," it conjured up unreasonable expectations. In real life, Candace Bushnell did not end up with "Mr. Big." She married a Russian ballet dancer.
I point this out because there's something going on in my generation. I'll call it the "Mr. Big" syndrome. It seems that more and more women are holding out hope that their ex-boyfriends will realize that they are "the one." Lovelorn women cling on desperately to the belief that their "Mr. Big" will come back to them. Marry them. And change.
These women have identified so much with Carrie Bradshaw's character that they parallel their lives to hers. They figure that if she can get "Mr. Big" to realize he loves her, then they can do the same with their men.
This kind of thinking leaves women to spend years of their lives waiting around. And sometimes the "Mr. Big's" of the world take advantage of the situation. They bask in the attention. They sleep with the women, continue communication and essentially lead them to believe that there may be a chance.
And then it's 5 years later. And she's still waiting for him to change. She's still waiting for him to realize that she's "the one."
I frequently witness this behavior through despondent posts on my forum at http://mjac.forumco.com. Dejected women who have spent years of their lives waiting for the man of their dreams to alter his perceptions and 'come back to them.' It's heartbreaking to read about. And even more tough to snap them out of this kind of delusional thinking.
"Sex and the City" is not responsible for this kind of thinking, but I do believe that more women should recognize that the real "Carrie Bradshaw" did not end up with her "Mr. Big." The belief in romance is wonderful, but should not always be applied to real life. Not all men, no matter how rich and powerful, are "Mr. Big." Not all men will finally realize after years of dysfunction that their ex is "the one." It's just not practical.
If women are going to learn any lessons from "Sex and the City," they should take away that it's okay to put men tertiary to career and family/friends, love comes in many forms and there's a man just waiting to love a woman as she is.
In some cases it just takes a really long time to find him.
For more musings on breakups and for relationship advice - http://breakupadvice.wordpress.com