User post: Do Men Think Women Love To Clean?

I've long been convinced it is a genetic defect that makes males assume that
women are just DYING for the chance to cook a 6-course dinner while the
wash machine is cleaning a load of clothes for us to iron after we have
washed the dinner dishes and taken out the trash. This is after having
worked at least 8 hours and made a large financial contribution to the
family.

My late husband used to really warm my heart when, after doing all the
above would announce -- from his easy chair -- "you CAN bring me some
ice cream ( or soda, or sandwich, etc. ) My response would be "don't be
so damned generous -- you CAN take a hike"

I don't think your husband meant it that way he probably gave it to you knowing that you would make sure it gets done. Not to say that you have to do everything, he may help if you ask. I just have found many men lazy, they won't do things unless it's brought to there attention. Other than that they wouldn't clean up unless they are asked specifically what to do.

that is something I have yet to figure out. It gets frustrated having every little mistake pointed out to you. So one day I forget to mop. the world will not end because I forgot. So I missed a spot sweeping.

I have more interest in having a neat and tidy house than my ex-husband did. Now that he has moved out, there isn't nearly as much mess to clean. Dividing the chores makes a lot of sense to me and then don't criticize each other about how those chores are completed. When things were better between us he did his own laundry and the mutual towels. I cleaned the house and he took care of the outside chores.

So set your limits and talk it over.

Hand the list back and say, "No thanks, I will stay home. You go with the kids." OR "No thanks, (handing the list back to him) I do the cleaning at home. This one is on YOU."

Really, do you want your husband to clean anything? They always do a crappy job and we women just have to do it over again. Women are good at cleaning because they are awesome at details.

It sounds from your article that you're not really pissed off about the whole handing-it-to-you thing, you're more pissed about the cleaning at all.

That being said, I don't know whether you left it a mess last time you were there or maybe your father-in-law's just a micromanager, but having a LIST of things to do is ridiculous (and TACKY). Bad move on Dad's part. He coulda just said, "Hey, last time you left the kitchen a mess, could you make sure to clean it before you leave?"

That ALSO being said, when we go off somewhere, before we leave I give the friend's or relative's house a good scrub-down. Not only do I want to be polite, I have been heartily invited back several times.

Bottom line: One should automatically return another's belongings (even a house) in better shape than it came to them. It's just neighborly.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO INVEST IN A SEXY MAID COSTUME AND KILL 2 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE ;) HAHA

None - I love your comments! You hit the nail on the head "Sexist & Selfish"
Apple - Don't be fooled for one second that these men can not bend their a**'s over and clean something like it is too difficult for them or they don't know where the cleaning supplies are. He has YOU trained! He knows very well that if he acts stupid enough you will just do it for him. That is just one thing I can not stand - if you are in a relationship and everything is 50/50 then that means so is the yard work - laundry - house work - grocery shopping - EVERYTHING!!

My husband asked me once why I like to clean so much. I said I don't. It's just that if I don't do it, no one will.

With my partner, or anyone else I have lived with, my perspective is that this is what I consider to be "clean." If you don't like it, then you are free to make it into your idea of "clean."

Mind you, I do not live in a pile of my own filth, but nor do I freak out if there's a pile of (clean) laundry sitting unfolded on the couch, or a stack of books and papers in the middle of the living room floor. Or a few dirty dishes in the sink. If you don't like it, feel free to fix it! Otherwise, don't complain.

ONE CAVEAT: If I am borrowing another person's home, I always, always leave it the way I found it. This does mean that I am obliged to scrub the toilet after an overnight visit, but rather that I move furniture back where it was when I arrived and wipe up coffee cup circles on the countertop. That's called being a good guest.

My aunt went on strike.She was working almost full time and doing all the chores with no help from her husband. Only a little from the kids and no one else knows how to cook. Her husband said something along the lines that she doesn't do anything. So she decided to quit doing everything in the house. :D

I don't mind doing cleaning and cooking but when a man thinks that it is a Woman's Duty...then I think they are sexist.

I left my last boyfriend because I was working a full time job, raising my child and his, he would have friends over all the time and then I was stuck doing the chores. All of the women in his family are housewives, but NOT me. I worked...he was the one at home so I thought he should be the housewife....WRONG! His family as well as him thought that I should still do all of the household duties even though he was lazy and sat on his ass. His mother even came over cause I wasn't doing a good enough job! Heck I work 14 hour days to support our family while he went to the movies, ate lunches with his family and helped his mom run errands! That was enough for me.

I prefer a man that understands it is a SHARED responsiblity. I don't care if the woman works or is a house wife. If there are children envolved then it is a SHARED responsiblity in doing the chores because a housewife has their hands full, just like a real job!

My husband knows how to cook and clean, He stop when we got married, He says thats what I'm for. He also has a 14 year old daughter that does nothing.

Oh Alicia: Not all women are "Good at cleaning because we are good at details" and not all men do a crappy job cleaning. My SO does a great job cleaning our home and I never have to re-clean anything he does. Please, don't make such sweeping generalizations.

men should clean up after themselves thats how i taught my children and my husband women are not slaves.

wow - this sounds familiar ! The last vacation we went on we had rented a cabin . It went from beautiful to filthy daily. And who cleaned it - me of course.He just sat around making messes while we were there.It wasn't exactly my idea of a vacation.

I think that it has to do with how the husband grew up, the wife included. I grew up in a home where everyone pitched in, mom did basic cores, dad did the lawn and out side 'manly' things, and my brother and I were assigned weekly chores. My husband grew up in a family where his mom pretty much did EVERYTHING, and it wasn't that his dad was lazy, his father worked the night shift for the FAA, and since he was a supervisor he worked many double shifts. So his mom did everything around the house, even picked up the kids rooms, never complained about dishes or items left strewn around the house. My parents would throw a hissy fit if we ate in our bedrooms, left a cup next to the coaster, left dishes out of the sink, or even if we didn't keep our car's clean.

So when my husband and I got married he just 'lets' me do everything, since his mom enjoyed and never complained about cleaning, he is in a mind set of "just let the wife do it". Which since I was NOT brought up the same way, it bothers the snot out of me! I can not stand walking in after work and seeing soda can's all over the house, or if he changes our son's diaper and lets it sit on the counter....come ON! The trash can was 3 feet a way!

I think keeping things clean can be looked at like smoking, or chewing gum. Once it becomes a habit to do things a certain way it can be a very hard habit to break.

Here's the thing - sexist opinions are often rationalized away as "natural." The media also hammers into our head that it's ok to have sexist opinions if a study says it's ok (nevermind who paid for the study and what industry gains to profit from it); or just because we ASSume that a quazillion years ago only men hunted and only women picked berries and were responsible for other crap work.

So no, I don't think it's natural for anyone to ASSume all women like cleaning any more than it would be natural to ASSume that all men like running around naked with a rubber glove on their heads screaming "Hi I'm a squid!"

You get points if you remember what movie that was from.

But that's about all I'm going to dissect about this blog post. IMO it's absurd to believe that anyone is "inherently" anything, by virtue of their race, gender, religion, whatever. And frankly, the fact that this little topic isn't a complete non-issue by now says a lot about the backpedaling our culture has done in gender equality.

Dunno why but my husband is the same way. I guess maybe it's because we care more? I mean if I didn't clean our house just wouldn't get cleaned and my husband would be just fine with that. He doesn't even notice his messy ways until I point them out...(nicely of course!)

At my house, if I don't do it then no one will. Sure, I can dictate a few chores, but if I really want a clean house, it's up to me. I'm a bit of a clean freak, and my hubby and son could care less if dishes grow mold. Doesn't bother them a bit. But I can't relax if the house isn't clean. It's just the way it works. I don't like it, but I've come to understand it. On the other hand - my husband doesn't expect me to get out there and mow the grass either, or take the trash and recycling to the dump. We might go together, but doesn't expect me to do it alone. So in his mind, he does the "hard" chores and I have the "house" chores. LOL! It works.