By Dr. Dorree Lynn, Intimacy Expert for Cupid's Pulse
Wouldn't you like somebody to love? It seems most of Hollywood thinks they do. So many celebrities jump in and out of relationships that we need a scorecard to keep track. Just when we they've got it right, Cupid's pulse hits a flat line. If celebrities can't keep their relationships together, we wonder: can we? Take beloved Sandra Bullock, left standing at the altar of her professional accomplishments, Oscar in hand, gushingly thanking her beloved Jesse James - only to find he has been screwing around behind her back. Naturally, she instantly dumps him. We also keep hoping that Jennifer Aniston will find her special love. Her ex, Brad Pitt, appears to have a great thing going with Angelina Jolie - at least for now. Then, there's David Arquette, who was dumped by Courteney Cox. One celebrity couple who appears to have it all is Sarah and Matthew Broderick (if we disregard the pre-marital tabloid fodder). And at least we've got Jeff Bridges, Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon as beacons of hope.
How do we avoid the heartbreak of loss and pain to go after long-term love?
First, you need to learn to follow your own Cupid's pulse. Here are 10 tips to your own five-star celebrity relationship this Valentine's Day:
1. There are plenty of fish in the sea: Stop depending on celebrities to teach you how to have a successful love life, and start swimming in your own pond. Sitting home expecting prince or princess charming to magically appear at your door means living in fantasy land.
2. Get out there: Dating takes courage, research, smart thinking, a cautiously open heart and the willingness to learn more about yourself en route to your future. Like Nike says, "Just do it."
3. Be pragmatic: Dating is like job hunting. You might get lucky the first time, or you may have to invest some significant time and effort into sorting through the possibilities.
4. Think of dating as an education: Learn, go after what you want, and don't settle. Just because someone wants you, doesn't mean you need to want them back. Take charge of your own life.
5. Move on from the past: Whatever your dating history, be it a long-term relationship that ended or a series of short-lived affairs that didn't last, every dater remembers enough prior heartbreaks to make a grown elephant cry. So what? You never know what's around the corner. Surprises come wrapped in the most unexpected packages.
6. Don't ever utter the words "I'm too busy to date": No one is too busy to date! Making time for yourself and your future sweetheart is important. Start looking for ways to free up some time so you can get out there and find the love of your life.
7. Images are illusions: If you feel insecure about something, odds are that the other person does as well. In fact, most people you date are far more worried about how they look to you than how you look to them. Remember, most glamour photos are airbrushed.
8. Remember that you are a catch: Focus on your positive qualities. Shifting your attention to your best features, both physical and otherwise, will make you more confident and attractive. Sure, you may have some low self-esteem issues. So does everyone else.
9. Keep a wish list: Jot down general values you want in a mate. What are your deal breakers? Is smoking unacceptable? Is religion an issue? Knowing where you draw the line can save you tons of time and heartache later.
10. Keep a dating journal: It will help you learn about your likes and dislikes, as well as your own patterns.
Celebrities are just like you. Follow these tips and you just might be able to teach them a thing or two. Dating can lead to your own-five star romance … and a love that lasts!