What's Your Favorite Position in Bed? (um, no, not sleeping)

When Mastering Multiple Position Sex arrived in the mail this week, my boyfriend turned the color of wasabi. "You ordered that," he asked?

I explained I was interviewing the author. "Hmmm," he hmmmed, sounding relieved. "I thought great sex was about being emotionally close anyway, and all that trapeze stuff was for the porn industry." (I wonder if he's been reading my magazines.)

Well, obviously he's right about the intimacy factor. But I am curious to know if certain positions-pure logistics here-are best for women.

Apparently this is not a burning question among research funders, as I couldn't find a single good study on the topic. And when I did call the author of that book, sex counselor Eric Marlowe Garrison, he didn't know either. The same with Rebecca Rosenblat, aka Dr. Date, a relationship and sexuality therapist, who hosts a TV show called Sex @11 in Toronto. Clearly, we need to do our own Shine poll.

But first, the sexperts did have a few things to say I thought worth sharing-starting with the fact that while there's nothing wrong with Cirque du Soleil sex, you really do just need the basics for endless pleasure. "The position I most hate to see in the bed is the Dead Octopus-eight lifeless arms and legs that aren't doing anything," says Garrison. "No matter how you're having sex, take advantage of every appendage. Stroke, caress, taste, touch, feel. In other words, know your scales before you tackle a symphony."


Here are just a few basic ways to kindle the climax:

The Missionary Position: It's a favorite tradition for several reasons: Lying together with the man on top, you've got eye contact, kissing, and clitoral stimulation. And, as Garrison points out, it's the only sex position that's actually legal in his state of Virginia.

Upgrade: "When the woman wraps her legs around the man, it can make things less than snug, not to mention, the friction of the thrusting doesn't get anywhere near her sweet spot," says Rosenblat. She suggests squeezing your legs together after he enters, forcing his to the outside. He can hook his feet under yours (or push off a footboard if he's too tall). "He'll ride higher than usual, increasing your chance of having a clitoral orgasm, which can be further magnified by him rotating his hips in a screwing motion," she says. Even more adventurous? Put a few pillows under your lower back and have him kneel in front of you. You'll have to slide your backside up his thighs for him to get inside you. But then he can take your legs-so he's holding the backs of your knees in the crooks of his elbows-and raise his arms as if he's doing curls at the gym. "Not only will this move drive the head of his penis crazy," says Rosenblat. "It'll drive right into your orgasmic spot."


The Doggie: If you're vaginally orgasmic, being on all fours with him behind you can be a winner because "the penis is coming at a downward motion toward the navel, which is where many women have a large concentration of nerves," says Garrison. "The problem is, if he tries to stimulate your clitoris, he might fall on top of you."

Upgrade: Start out doggie style, but then have him rock back onto his heels, so his torso is upright, almost perpendicular to the bed. You go with him, sitting on his lap (you may have to re-plug in). Now your hands are free to fondle that neglected spot while he's inside you, and to reach back and caress him as well.


Pony Ride: Being on top (he lies on his back while you sit on him) is a no-brainer for women. "This position allows him to get in nice and deep," says Rosenblat, "while you control the rhythm, and thereby your orgasm, which is practically a given if he uses either manual stimulation or a vibrator against your easily accessible clitoris." Or you can use him like a vibrator: Keeping his penis outside of you, just slide your hot-pocket up and down it, rubbing the ridge where you want it, until you climax; then guide him inside.

Upgrade: Instead of him lying in a bed, have him sit in an armless chair. When you straddle him, you'll be even closer to kiss and hug and gaze into each other's eyes, and the penetration will go deeper. Alternately, says Rosenblat, you can turn away from him-ideally facing a mirror-and it will be easier for him to stroke your other parts.


Spooning: This is where you're both lying on your sides and he spoons you from behind as you pull your legs up just enough for him to enter. "There are a lot of nerves around the spine," says Garrison, "so when someone's chest is against your back, it's a fantastic feeling, especially when his hand is also playing with your breasts or clitoris."

Upgrade: There really isn't one. For lazy, luxurious sex, what's not to love? This is totally intimate, and when you feel like it, you can just drift off together with him inside you, caressing each other until you're ready to go at it again....Or not.

Hey, take the poll-and please share your sexpertise!

Check out the results of some other Shine sex polls.....

Where's the Weirdest Place You've Ever Had Sex?
Is Porn Good for Your Sex Life?
How Active is Your Sex Drive?

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