Are you in a relationship with someone you really care about, but at the same time, you find yourself feeling miserable, experiencing only fleeting moments of happiness? Somehow you know it's wrong, but you love him so much that you want to keep trying until you get it right. Perhaps you break up and get back together often. Perhaps you are trying to "stick it out" until he changes. Whatever it is, when the person you love makes you miserable, there's a genuine problem.
Whether your partner is unhappy, unemotional or unavailable, these emotions have a way of rubbing off on the people around them. This means you. Ask yourself these questions:
· Are you generally depressed, whereas before this relationship you were generally happy?
· Do you find yourself acting out in order to grab your partner's attention?
· Do you feel like your happiness depends on your partner's happiness?
· Have you often thought about leaving, but just haven't gotten up the nerve?
If the answer to many of these questions is yes, then it's time to strongly consider where you go from here.
If you're in a situation where you're unattached - meaning you live alone and don't depend on your partner for financial support, here's what you do:
1. Start a pro & cons list. If the cons outweigh the pros, it's time to think about leaving the relationship.
2. Imagine your life without your ex. Don't think about the short-term, think about the long-term; meeting someone else, loving without boundaries, sharing your life with someone who cares.
3. Write down what you're going to say. Then email, call, or meet with him in person to discuss your concerns.
4. Prepare to feel awful. Chances are, when it's over, you'll still feel miserable for awhile, but a giant weight will be lifted off your shoulders - nearly immediately!
Some people can't just "up and leave" because there may be financial or familial obligations to consider. And that's okay. Here's what you can do:
1. Make a plan. Whether you need to save up money, find a new place to live, or file divorce papers, make a plan and set a timeline to get it done.
2. Stick to your plan. It's easy to get distracted; especially during the few good times you have with your partner, but if the misery continues, stick to your timetable. You can always change your mind, but it'll be nice to have that backup plan ready to go when you're ready to go.
3. Find your nerve. You will know when the time is right because you'll feel it in your gut.
4. Write down what you're going to say. Then email, call, or meet with him in person to discuss your concerns. (If it's not wise for you to speak with him, skip to the next step).
5. Execute your plan. Take a deep breath and take your final steps out the door. Don't look back.
6. Prepare to feel awful. Chances are, when it's over, you'll still feel miserable for awhile, but a giant weight will be lifted off your shoulders - nearly immediately!
And if you need support after you leave, please visit us at BrokenHeartedGirl.com. We're there to help!