A lot of people involved in a break up usually ask the question, "When will I get over him?" This is generally the advice that is given:
- It takes half the time of the full term of the relationship to get over someone.
- You can get over him in 2 weeks if you just follow a specific program.
- You can get over him instantly by dating another man.
I personally do not believe any of this to be true. Getting over someone is a personal choice. It shouldn't be "When will I get over him?" The question you should ask is "How will I get over him?"
The "how" question is the most important question you can ask yourself. Asking "how" to get over him is the first step toward accepting that the relationship is over. It's the first step you will take on your journey toward creating a stable world for your mind, heart and soul.
Once you ask the "how" question, you can bypass all of those "get him back schemes," and "get over him in 2 weeks" schemes and start exploring ways to recover from the breakup. Here are some examples:
(1) Start a journal - The BreakUp Workbook recommends this step, as writing is cathartic.
(2) Remove symbols of your relationship from your home. A blanket you used to snuggle under together, pictures of him, etc.
(3) Remove him from your Instant Messenger so you don't obsess when you see him online.
Asking "how" and physically progressing toward your goal of getting on with your life is, in effect, the first step. You will take many steps in your journey toward healing. The "when" part will soon follow.