Dear What Men Want:
I came across your article, and I thought I'd ask a "real man" this perplexing question. I just don't understand why only married men hit on me. Single men show no interest in me, but married men…WOW!
I'm a very respected and classy woman. I'm in my forties, but I look like I'm still in my thirties. I'm in good shape, educated, professional, and very fashionable, although a little conservative with my clothes (meaning my tops aren't low cut or anything like that). Single men hardly notice me, but married men chase me down like wild dogs. I don't believe I'm sending out any particular vibe to attract them. How do I get single men to start chasing me instead?
Can't wait to hear your answer.
You need to analyze where you're meeting these guys, because from what it sounds like, you're hanging out at places that attract an older crowd. Even though you may look like you're in your thirties, let's face it: most people your age are married. The chances of you meeting guys that are single are far worse than you meeting guys that are married. Also, keep in mind that married men are typically bored --- they're looking for someone like you to cure their boredom. This isn't your fault, it's simply how the system works.
Whether you're educated, professional, or the Queen of England --- all of that doesn't matter. If I'm approaching you at a bar, it's because I think you're hot and potentially a great lay, not because I'm hoping you're "professional" or "fashionable." Change your venues. If what you're doing now isn't working, start hitting new bars or clubs with a younger crowd. Although you may not find it ideal, chances are your future mate is a few years younger than you, but for a woman in her forties, isn't that a good thing? Show guys in their thirties or late twenties that you can keep up, have as much fun as some of the younger girls, and you're bound to find what you're looking for. Otherwise, your fate lies in match.com.
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