We hate to interrupt all the fun you are having at barbecues and pool parties these days, but there's some surprising news you need to know about: Summer is cheat season - the time of year when people are most likely to sneak around on their partners. Keep him from cheating on you with these tips.
And though chicks do their fair share of cheating, guys are more prone to being summertime two-timers because they're more likely to stray in general, says New York City therapist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of the forthcoming Love in 90 Days.
Of course, we're not saying that your man is definitely gonna step out on you by Labor Day. But it's a good idea to read the info below so you get a handle on why it may happen, plus the tip-offs that can tell you if more than his eyes have been wandering.
Reasons Men Two-Time During Summer
Remember when you were a kid and summer meant no school, freedom, and fun? Well, that attitude carries over into adulthood, leaving us with the sense that during these months, the usual rules don't apply. "Some men take this to mean that it's okay to cheat once the hot weather rolls around," explains Daniel Kruger, PhD, evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor. "They think, Oh, it's just a summer fling, as if normal couple behavior is on hiatus."
That same outlook also makes people associate the summer with adventure. "Now is the time when you're more apt to try something new, and any novelty increases your body's production of dopamine, which triggers the release of testosterone - two chemicals associated with energy, elation, and sex," explains Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Why We Love. Translation: A guy may seek sexually charged situations and could give in if tempted.
People are also simply way more social in the summer. Balmy weather puts us in a happier, more gregarious frame of mind, drawing us together via lots of social events - like outdoor dining, backyard parties, and group trips to the beach. "With more people in a friendly, even flirty, mood coming out to socialize, there's a larger market of women to mingle with and, thus, increased chances for a man to be unfaithful," says Kruger.
And let's not forget the obvious: When the temperature goes up, clothes come off. Since guys are so easily turned on by all the female skin they see poking out of sundresses, tank tops, and short shorts on the street and at work, they're in a constant state of heightened desire. As a result, it may be easier for them to succumb to lust should an opportunity arise. Here's why guys sometimes cheat on hot women.
Signs Your Guy May Dog Around on You
Watch out if he doesn't invite you to a work event that other coworkers' partners are attending, like an office picnic or rooftop drinks. "Not inviting you implies that he doesn't want his coworkers to know he has a girlfriend so he can flirt with someone else," says Kirschner.
Also, though it's normal for guys to check out other women for a second or two, even if you're right there with him, be concerned if he's taking "more than a quick glance in front of you. It's a sign he isn't concerned with appearing faithful and may be open to playing around," says Kirschner. Find out the real reason men cheat.
Another red flag is if he tells you that he wants to use his summer vacation to take a guys-only trip and doesn't set aside any time off to spend with you. True, he could really just want to hang out at the beach with his buddies. But he could also want to mess around out of town, where he's less likely to be caught.
And take note if he's suddenly paying way more attention to his body. Because of the heat and sun, his torso will likely be exposed when he's out socializing. If he gets obsessive about waxing his back hair or lifting weights at the gym, his MO may be to attract other women, says Kirschner.
Should you notice any of these tip-offs, it's a good idea to ask him if everything is all right and if he's happy in the relationship. He won't necessarily fess up, but it may give him the chance to admit that he's been feeling restless or bored.
How to Keep Your Man Loyal
True, you can't totally cheat-proof things. Damn. But you can at least reduce the number of opportunities your guy has to play around on you. One way to do this is to plan lots of summer activities for you two only - such as a playful afternoon-swim ritual at a lake or a private happy hour on your deck. "If he's spending a lot of time with you, he won't be able to catch the eye of other females," explains Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs. Here's how to avoid relationship road bumps.
And of course, keep your sex life on high boil. Luckily, summer presents tons of ways to be creative in this department. Ask him to go on a secluded bike ride with you, then make a pit stop on an empty stretch of road, and do the deed in the woods nearby. Or whip out Cosmo's Aqua Kama Sutra, and experiment with a few underwater maneuvers at the beach. "Mixing things up will leave him, and you too, satisfied and fulfilled and much less likely to wonder if he's been missing anything with other women," says Kirshenbaum.
Ultimately, however, your guy has to dig you enough to resist all the temptations that summer throws his way. If he doesn't and you find out he did stray, you may have to ditch him.Become a fan of Cosmo on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.