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Our friend Mr. Indie Rocker--who insists on remaining anonymous--is a saucy Brit who is lead singer and lead guitarist for a New York-based band. (We'd tell you the band name, but that would kind of blow his cover.) He checked in from his U.K. tour to tell us what he's learned about sex and love on the road. Note to self: Never have more than two drinks before attempting a striptease, and never ever attempt to strip to Tracy Chapman.
Do you think it's true that everyone seems hotter and more interesting when they're on stage?
I never understood that. And believe me, musicians are generally the sweatiest and smelliest dudes there are. Somehow girls don't have a problem with that. I played with a drummer previously who hadn't washed in days. We had been on the road for about three weeks at this point. He picks up this exceptionally sweet girl and goes home with her. He told me the next day that she had performed numerous acts on him that were downright wrong. Now just think for a minute how sweaty drummers get every night. Think how long they have to sit in that drummer seat and play through the set. Then not washing for days. Then imagine what kind of things that poor girl performed...
So you have groupies?
There have been numerous occasions where you have to ask someone for their identification just so you're not going down that slippery road where the girl's mom or dad will be picking them up at the end of the show whilst she's attached to your arm. Numerous occasions where I witnessed that--not participated, of course. (One-Night Stand Advice: He Had Us at "Be Honest")
How has being in a band changed your dating life? Being the lead singer in the band has to be the best pick-up line ever, right?
That line only works if you live in L.A. and are in a c*ck rock band. Actually, being in a band ruined my dating life for way over five years. Anyone I met, I would attempt to take them home within the first evening simply because I knew I had one night in one town. You gotta move fast and you gotta be direct. I would advise not to try this method when you actually live somewhere for fear of f*cking things up with someone and running into them later that week in your local bar. Awkward to say the least. (Video: Best and Worst Pickup Lines?)
How about your sex life, has being in a band changed that?
It damages the quality of women you get. Your sex life might improve but you're not exactly working hard to find the right girl or a girl you want to spend more than a lunch break with. You're just having fun. I'm definitely having a hard time adapting to seeing the same one girl all the time. My eyes wander...
Find out what being in a band has taught our rocker about sex and why you should never try to seduce someone while you're drunk...
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