Getty ImagesTiger Woods is in the news again but it's not for his golf game. It's because he's reportedly dating a new woman, 28-year-old Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn. But Vonn isn't a porn star, like so many of Woods' ex-paramours. Nor is she a model like Woods' former wife, Elin Nordegren. She's a four-time World Cup championship winner. She doesn't need Tiger's fame or money and she doesn't exactly court the media. So, why the hell is she dating Tiger Woods? For that matter, why would anyone?
Tiger isn't the first or only man who's behaved despicably only to be beckoned into the forgiving arms of a new woman. Take Charlie Sheen. Let's put aside for a moment his well publicized drug addiction, his alleged propensity for trashing hotel rooms, and his affinity for porn stars. In 1990, Sheen's loaded gun, which he carried around in his pants pocket for inexplicable reasons, went off while his then-fiance actress Kelly Preston was picking up his pants, injuring her in the arm. After the two broke up, he went on to marry his now-ex-wife Denise Richards who after their divorce told Oprah that Sheen pushed and shoved her. Years later he reportedly beat another ex-wife, socialite Brooke Mueller. The actor was charged with second-degree assault, menacing, and criminal mischief. And who could forget that Chris Brown, more famous for his temper than for his music, was charged with felony assault and making criminal threats after he beat his then/now/maybe-current girlfriend Rianna in 2009. Nevertheless, he bounced back in a new relationship with clothing designer Karrueche Tran.Yes, these men have fortune and fame which can undoubtedly be intoxicating to some women. But how can any rational, level-headed person evaluate the track records of these three men and decide that they're worth investing a smidgen of time and emotion? "They can't," says Bethany Marshall, Ph.D., a psychoanalyst and marriage and family therapist in Beverly Hills, CA. "The woman who is drawn to a man with violent and such extreme histories of infidelity is neither rational or clear thinking. Many of these types of women grew up in homes where love wasn't always available. When that happens, they turn into adults who either try to win people over at all costs or take whatever scraps are thrown their way in relationships."
An incredible sense of denial is also at play. "They've done famous studies on women who become involved with incarcerated men and found that a majority of them chose not to learn about the crimes their partner committed that put them in jail," says Marshall. "They just didn't want to know that this person they loved was capable of such heinous acts. It's a failure on the woman's part to evaluate someone on both their positive and negative attributes."
And finally, these men are expert at brainwashing women. "Many of these guys convince their partners that they're misunderstood and make them feel special. If the man is famous and everyone is vying for their attention, that can be intoxicating to someone with low esteem," says Marshall.Plus, the person who is attracted to these types of men doesn't have clearly defined boundaries. So when their partner behaves badly, she accommodates his behavior and makes it her responsibility to fix it.
So do men like Woods, Sheen, and Brown deserve love or should they forever be denied a healthy relationship? "Everyone deserves love but can all men value what they have? No."